Jun Taira (Profile)

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Jun Taira (Profile)

Post by Jun Taira on Mon Apr 21, 2014 6:42 am

NAME: Jun Taira
AGE: 15
CLASS: Freshman

APPEARANCE: Jun is a bit shorter than most standing at a mere 4'10". She has dark brown hair that stretches halfway down her back. She wears glasses over her brown eyes. She usually dresses in casual and comfortable clothes and rarely worries about looking nice in public.


BACKSTORY: Jun was born mute. As a younger child, her parents hired a tutor who specializes in teaching children with disabilities. She spent 3 years with the tutor, in that time she learned most of what she needed to know for her grade level, including sign language. But once she was caught up with most children her age, her parents decided to enroll her in a public school. At first she missed having her studies catered to her, and she missed her parents, but she soon got used to the public setting, she even made a few friends and excelled in writing. Her friends as a child were fairly normal, and she often times was the person they'd go to talk to because she was in their words 'such a good listener'. As an elementary student she ran into very few problems with her disability due to the support and understanding of her teachers and friends, so for a while she had a pretty normal, enjoyable life.

But everything changed for her when her family moved to a new town when she was 13. In the new school she was an outsider, and no one bothered to make the effort to get to know her, some even made fun of her.  Being quite small in stature, when the other students began to bully her she had no way to defend herself, physically or verbally. When she brought up how she was being bullied by some of the other students, the teacher she spoke to suggested that maybe she didn't belong at the school and to her it seemed like he was saying the problem wasn't with the students bullying her but the very fact that she was even trying to blend in was the problem.

So for a while she just kept on moving along, until one day she met someone who was just as much of an outcast as she was, a boy named Michio. He was the first person who was nice to her, so she didn't care if he was a bit of a nerd. One day he introduced her to a game called StarCraft. Pretty soon she had a copy of her own and they became practice partners. He taught her how to become a better player while she taught him sign language, rather than having to write notes or text like she does with most people, so they could more easily discuss strategies at school. She considered him as the best friend she could ever have, but he saw her as a lover with all the time they had been spending together. One day he acted on his feelings towards her by kissing her without warning, and she reacted by trying to push him away, but he just held her tighter, so she pushed harder, much harder, and sent him backwards towards the wall where he tripped and hit his head against it. She gave him a concussion and forcefully rejected his love for her, so when she went to visit him in the hospital he didn't exactly want to continue their friendship. Michio had coincidentally moved shortly after the incident, but despite the facts, Jun was nicknamed the silent killer.

There she was again, alone and made fun of. She decided to focus her efforts on the one thing she still enjoyed, StarCraft. As her skill and aptitude in the game became surprisingly exceptional, her aspirations of becoming a professional player some day grew. However, her utter distaste for the school environment and all the time she spent laddering rather than studying eventually caught up to her and her grades began to decline. When her parents went to her teachers asking why she was doing so poorly, they said she simply didn't belong here, so her parents searched for a better fit for her, and that fit is Yamaku.


PERSONALITY: She is pretty closed off from others and is slightly awkward even when she does get close with someone. Even though she is slow to trust, she is still sensitive to other's feelings and can be fairly empathetic. The last time she had a real variety of friends was when she was a bit younger, so she has a tendency of acting pretty childish with people she feels comfortable with. She can be very determined and competitive at times, given the right motivation. In reality though, she just likes to have fun and is fairly extroverted when in a environment where she has the ability to be.


Last edited by Jun Taira on Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:17 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Re: Jun Taira (Profile)

Post by LQ-84i on Mon Apr 21, 2014 7:14 am

The profile lacks the detail expected of those who wish to join. There are quite a few details about the character's past life that are missing and overall the backstory is much too short. How was her relationship with her parents? With her friends? How did she feel about being homeschooled? What brought her toward gaming as an escape? What events in the new school led her to withdraw within herself? Her dreams and aspirations? Any goals? With all these questions I have about her, might I suggest you take a look through some of our guides to better understand what we want from applicants?


http://www.ksnewgen.com/t608-guide-to-making-the-ultimate-character
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Re: Jun Taira (Profile)

Post by Jun Taira on Mon Apr 21, 2014 8:36 am

Added and edited some stuff in the backstory. Also changed the personality slightly to reflect the changes to her backstory.
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Re: Jun Taira (Profile)

Post by Subverse on Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:16 am

I have to agree with Fox - the backstory is still lacking. Not only is it far too short there is next to no mention of her disability and the way it affects her life. How does she communicate? Did she resent the fact that she only ever had one friend? Is she ok with moving to Yamaku? I think a lot more detail can be put into the profile than there is presently, there needs to be more than just "lonely girl meets boy and then they had an argument and now she's at a different school".
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Re: Jun Taira (Profile)

Post by Jun Taira on Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:44 am

Subverse wrote:there is next to no mention of her disability and the way it affects her life.

As an elementary student she ran into very few problems with her disability due to the support and understanding of her teachers and friends, so for a while she had a pretty normal, enjoyable life. When she moved to the new school however, she didn't have any of that anymore. Being quite small in stature, when the other students began to bully her she had no way to defend herself, physically or verbally, and even the teachers were no help to her because they thought the problem wasn't with the students bullying her but the very fact that she was even trying to blend in was the problem, or so it seemed to her that's what they were saying. When she taught Michio sign language, it brought them closer and further fueling his delusions of their romance.

Subverse wrote:How does she communicate?

Preferably sign, but she's also comfortable using notes or texting if need be.

Subverse wrote:Did she resent the fact that she only ever had one friend?

She had quite a few friends when she was younger (As mentioned in the original draft of the back story). The only thing she really felt resentment towards was the people who mistreated her at the new school.

Subverse wrote:Is she ok with moving to Yamaku?

I feel like this is an issue that's currently in the present rather than the past.


I'm going to try to put the answers to your first question into the back story. The other ones seem pretty unnecessary, unless you guys insist.

EDIT: I finished putting those couple of things in, and noticed it was kinda hard to read as a wall of text so I put some paragraphs in there for you guys.


Last edited by Jun Taira on Sat Apr 26, 2014 10:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Jun Taira (Profile)

Post by Subverse on Sat Apr 26, 2014 9:40 am

If you could work in the fact that she communicates via both you'll have my approval - the detail in the profile is paramount in the application process and there really needs to be as much detail as possible stuck in there.Maybe just explain where she learned sign? I assume her parents didn't teach her.
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Re: Jun Taira (Profile)

Post by Jun Taira on Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:20 pm

Done.

The beginning of the first paragraph and the middle of the third.
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Re: Jun Taira (Profile)

Post by Subverse on Mon Apr 28, 2014 3:55 am

Ya gots my approval. 1/2.
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Re: Jun Taira (Profile)

Post by Raiden on Tue Apr 29, 2014 7:47 pm

Approved 2/2. Welcome aboard!
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