[Private] A Blueberry

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[Private] A Blueberry

Post by Chiharu Kinai on Mon Nov 10, 2014 3:01 am

It was a nice Sunday, it was warmer and windier than it has been throughout the autumn and most likely won't be for quite some time to come. Chiharu took advantage of this fact and spent a considerable amount of her day alone in the park. During this time, she had plenty of time to think. Her thoughts were comprised mostly of things concerning her current situation. She watched as children played and it was all too easy for her to imagine one of them was her's, which only brought on bittersweet feelings of the future. In the end she realized she didn't have to deal with this alone.

As the evening drew near, Chiharu entered the male dorms with a small box of blueberries she had bought at the convenience store on her way back. She arrived in front of Izumi's door, and rather than knocking right away, she simply leaned against the wall next to it and texted him.

[You busy?]
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Chiharu Kinai

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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

Post by Izumi Inaba on Mon Nov 10, 2014 6:09 am

New Message (1)

The alert reverberated through the room as whatever cover Izumi would have had was blown. At least it wasn't anyone he didn't want to hear from. Still, the bed was a great comfort. One that threatened peace so still he wouldn't move. He was at the brink of sleep, that unconscious feeling so sweet that at the end of a dying day, the rest brings strength again to face another. It was pitch-perfect-black in his room for Izumi took the time for once to make his dorm comfortable and thoroughly ergonomic. Optimized for optimal shade in the night and with some alterations, near-optimal light during the day insofar as can be done in these dorms. That was why the back-light and sound was so immersion shattering, he went back a few hours worth of progress. Whatever this was, needed to be important.

[I was just about to go to bed, but since I've been woken so sharply (@_@), I'll find my way back to sleep later.]

After pressing send, for no truly sensible reason, he was at the door after gaining enough will to thrust himself out of bed. He was still in his Nemaki his father arranged for his wardrobe long ago, it had veins of blue stems intertwined with a much lighter blue leaf pattern on black cotton. He parted the door to make way if he needed to rush out and relieve himself in the dorm hall restroom later on. As he did so, he caught something he was rather familiar with.

"Well, it is true I probably wouldn't be found here usually. Here I am, looking silly here by the door."
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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

Post by Chiharu Kinai on Mon Nov 10, 2014 10:59 am

<Who goes to bed when it's barely dark out? Eh, whatever, not important>
Chiharu took a glance down the hall both ways as she said with an amused tone, "Well, if nobody sees you, then you won't look silly at all."
She then let herself in to his room, and while doing so continued to speak as she looked around the dark room.
"Actually, I think that looks kinda cute on you."
However, her voice turns to a serious tone as she turns back to look at him to say, "But that's not why I'm here."
She took a seat on his bed as she continued with, "I'm here because I need talk to you in private, and this is the most private place I could think of."
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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

Post by Izumi Inaba on Mon Nov 10, 2014 7:55 pm

Izumi decided to snap a light on. He snapped his fingers and on came three lantern shaped lamps at sixty-five percent intensity. "I quite understand that. Either way, it'll be best we'd have a light or two. I am listening." Izumi was still clearly out of sorts being disrupted from his evening rituals. He spoke a degree or two more plainly as if he was about to become cross had it been anyone else. He tried to keep his countenance amicable enough not to off-put Chiharu any more than she may have already been. He was always an early sleeper, as he was in charge of whatever housework his mother was unsuited for before school began long ago. It wasn't because it was dark, as much as there was much to do, his mother was blind after all. That is a case where everything is always dark, without question.
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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

Post by Chiharu Kinai on Wed Nov 12, 2014 6:11 am

Upon opening the box of blueberries in her lap, she took out one and idly rolled it around between her fingers as she spoke in an indecisive and distant tone.
"So, uh. You remember the first day of class after summer break, and how we were, well, not in class that day... Well.."
She holds up the berry between her thumb and index finger as she says, "This is about how big it is now."
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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

Post by Izumi Inaba on Wed Nov 12, 2014 9:18 am

Izumi stared at her for a moment as circuits in his brain short-circuited, fizzing and popping trying to make the light stop glaring down on him. Dozens of questions, whys and wherefores were crossing his mind as he took to going through varying displays of emotion on his face. Words or what were thought to be attempts of words were sputtered out looking for coherence in one who could give it to them. There was a feeling even language was let down when Izumi held back his tongue and sought to look away from that light that never needed to be on. He thought about how garish he looked now with the vines wrapped around so intricately around him much like the bind he was in. Everything seemed relevant. Even the berries, especially the berries, they were the analogy being used for the bulge that held life that in his own vested pursuit of affirmed masculinity now existed in someone who didn't need to have anything to worry about. An eye of his were blue, just like those damnable blueberries, and his was a dominant trait. That child right there in the womb may very well be a continuation of perpetual darkness that social Darwinists warned others about. He planted the child in there, that was his, that was his doing. This is what they meant by take responsibility and he didn't know even if he was close to being ready let alone prepared to take responsibility.


Nothing you can say would have been better than stopping yourself back then. The board changed position, these are the consequences and rapture aforethought are debts to be paid for here and now. This is all too frequent, it is not just the two of you, it is not something that is new, people have gone through this before. Just breathe, count to a number, doesn't matter which but don't keep her waiting. Just find the words, the manner, the way and go about your business because there's no turning back and forward is another pinprick and all the pins and all of the needles will go away. Eventually, but not this day.

He took a breath, brought himself to look upon her, still in the way of the light aside him and nodded.

"I owe you enough to help see it through." He breathed the words wistfully as he rather visibly tried to keep his head up, he couldn't mask his feelings but he could work through them. "All I need to know is what we're going to do..."
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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

Post by Chiharu Kinai on Wed Nov 12, 2014 9:38 pm

Chiharu decides to pop the berry into her mouth as she formulates a response.
"Abortion really isn't a safe option anymore, not that I didn't think about it earlier..."
She looks down at the box in her lap as she continues with a more reflective tone.
"I actually, truly, considered it for a while. I just couldn't get past the idea, or the feeling, that I would be destroying something, like I would be eliminating the potential for something beautiful. I kinda feel terrible just knowing I thought about doing it."
A short silence is felt between them before Chiharu breaks it with a deep and audible breath followed by the rest of her explanation as she looks to Izumi.
"But, if I had done that, we wouldn't even be talking right now. That leaves the other option, adoption. It will be better if we can find a suitable couple to take care of it before it's born, rather than afterwards. Other than that and the occasional doctor's visit, there's not really much to do."
She then brings her gaze to the window as she finishes her statement with a quiet, "For the most part, I guess we just wait... We just wait for everything to change."
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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

Post by Izumi Inaba on Thu Nov 13, 2014 12:22 am

Izumi's eyes search the room, making sure not to bring them back toward the light unless he was going to face Chiharu. "We live within the confines of the outskirts overlooking a venerable ghost town. I won't put the chance that it could be someone local completely out of the question, but call me a skeptic and we'd be right on with the definition."

"I'll be in here more often, it would be best to have a common place where I could be reached at. Winter would be setting in soon and there would be hardly much out there to see." He points to a bag over by the bed, not bothering to do much more to bring Chiharu's attention to it. "There are Haskaps I've found the very last time I was out. If you're having cravings for berries, you can take them all. I no longer have a desire for them, they'll go bad if I leave them sitting any longer." Or for anything blue, or red, or blue-red, purple, crimson, turquoise, etc, et al, and so forth


Last edited by Izumi Inaba on Fri Nov 14, 2014 3:05 am; edited 2 times in total
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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

Post by Chiharu Kinai on Thu Nov 13, 2014 11:32 am

Chiharu searched the room for something more to say, but her attempts were futile. She closed the box, and stood up. Standing before Izumi, she remained still for a few moments as she desperately tried to find the words that would dispel the cold fog that seemed to permeate the situation.

Eventually she decided to follow her instincts.

She put the box down, took a step forward, and embraced Izumi in a hug. Whether this was for his benefit, her own, or both, she did not know or care, as it felt like the only right thing to do.
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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

Post by Izumi Inaba on Sun Nov 16, 2014 2:08 am

If only there was comfort to be sought, Izumi would reach back and take it. He never asked for any that wasn't sleep, but anything else would be needlessly harsh, cold and stiff. It was just so quiet, silent as ether winds through the streets beyond the walls. The room, once peach, now given faint hints of pumpkin through the effervescent light behind the two. He sat firmly planted where he was, returning the embrace without murmuring. Izumi rested his head on her shoulder to keep his chin high and his gaze away from the pumpkin shaded walls reflecting the light he tried to evade. He turned slightly back toward her, to dispel the mist forming, that iota of mist clouding his eye. His peripherals were filled with that fog, indivisible, enclosing themselves upon his irises. He had only one thing on his mind, just one.

"We're still in good terms right? There's just this doubt, this doubt that creeps in when the chills set in and the air is tense. I don't doubt you're feeling it, because we're here, sharing a hold. I only question if we're feeling it the same way."
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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

Post by Chiharu Kinai on Sun Nov 16, 2014 5:23 am

Chiharu pulled back slightly to be able to look into Izumi's eyes as she spoke, but she still held her arms resting around his waist.
"I can't say for sure if we are feeling the same thing, because I don't know what you are feeling. But I know I trust you, I know I feel better, safe, and like everything is going to be alright when I'm around you."

She lets out a soft smile and a relaxed breath before saying in an optimistic tone, "So yeah, you could say we're in good terms with each other."
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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

Post by Izumi Inaba on Sun Nov 16, 2014 9:44 pm

The magic of an opinion that can still be held on to is the depth of the feeling one has to anchor it still. Izumi knew, and learned about the fickleness of thought then, as he stared into those eyes. Those eyes which still reached toward him even though he just sank into those depths himself. There was a new light to be seen, one fragmentary incandescent light only he could see in his new-found delusion. That of one brighter than he, who spoke for herself independently and still had faith in he who erred 'ere the night tonight. Another night, presupposing itself in day, with faint sunlight glistening through the sounds of blissful fury that had just been wrought a month or so ago to beget this moment in time. Couldn't run from this if he tried as he entrenched his mind deeper into abstention. He could not now speak what it was he felt now knowing it was not mutual and the doubt was all his to have. He could surely nod, accept and lie his way through this not being weighted any heavier by the pressure of it. This should have been reassuring, his position was for the time-being safe, decisions were being made and this would be going much better than Chiharu would had expected to have gone before. Right? This should be fine, you're in good standing, breathe, relax, be free.


Smile.

Why don't you smile.

Just a gentle passing breeze through the wispy night air, imagine it and smile.

A simple curve, upward, breaking through the fog and the mist, and that breeze, cutting deeply through and past any previously held thought.


Izumi simply smiled and let out a sigh of relief.
"I needed to know. That's all."
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Re: [Private] A Blueberry

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