Lonesome Super Hero

So far I haven't eaten or slept in over 24 hours. I don't know how or why my body does this but I really don't feel hungry or tired at all.

There isn't much to do in front of this mall but I don't feel like going in. It gets too crowded at around 3:30 and it's already an hour later.

All night I have been walking around the city. Doing nothing but walking and thinking.

Thinking about life. My past. My future. My friends.

Everyone I care about...I wish I could over all be of more assistance. So far I've made three people wait on me and two actually take extra care of me.

I've only really pulled someone up from their disability twice. Only listened to someone's life problems twice too. Can't I do more?

I-...I never had friends before the wonderful people here. I feel like I am the least qualified for help but the most to receive it! Why can't I help more here? There are so many here with more than just physical disabilities and I just can't seem to help anyone with them.

I just wish I could make a difference...I'm not ever going to realize my dream at this rate...

Not with my disability at least.

*thud*

"Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't see anyone there."

Almost tripping over Satoshi, Hawke immediately notices the lack of his trademark grin.Man.... He looks upset.
*E*"You ok there V-man? You look pretty depressed. Not your style"

[Huh. Seems like the forum swallowed the notification of receiving a response here-my apologies!]

Hawke?

"Hawke?"

Looks like I'm busted by him again. Damn-I always try to keep a powerful image up in front of friends. Either that or my generally baked-look [like that of Rin] masks any emotion.

Heh, looks like I am just caught red-handed.

Regardless, I still manage a small smile fueled by his lighthearted response.

Not a chance in-fucking-Hell will I cave without a struggle to keep myself from having to reveal a problem so laughable-so utterly pathetic as a feeling of uselessness in the service of the ones I care about.

Side note: when I say 'the ones I care about' I mean every person I see. Not just the people I know.

Just a unique comprehensive mind directed toward the fact that everyone has problems we don't know about and everyone is also possibly a good person.

"Hello Satoshi. What're you doing on this fine evening?"

He was definitely upset. I've never seen him upset. I need to get to the bottom of this... he's pretty much the only guy I talk to here.

Hawke takes a seat on a nearby bench and motions for Satoshi to sit next to him. Feeling a migraine come on, he takes out a small flask and quickly sips from it, just to take the edge off.

With any luck he didn't notice. This is usually hard to explain.

I come sit. A little worried that I will have to speak about my unique problem.

I was always a great listener but never a great speaker or one to try to get sympathy.

Regardless, with the help of the darkness, I conceal my natural facial expression to this situation.

"I'm doing fine. Does night time make you feel as alive as it does for me?"

I've always loved the night time. It reveals peoples' true hidden personalities.

However the time has come for mine to be revealed, I suppose.

Did he just take a sip from a flask? I drink a little when it's offered to me but I can't imagine someone this early after they can drink to do it enough to actually need a flask.

I suppose it's reasonable for someone who refers to whiskey as 'the nectar of the gods.'

I pay little attention to the alcohol after this brief moment of surprise.

Hawke turns back to Satoshi after taking measures to eradicate the pain in his head, and sees that he's a little surprised at the flask.

Well, it's my fault for having it in public I suppose.

Hawke gives a small shrug "Pain relief. I appear to have grown desensitized to my pills."

"I love the night, I was made for it. I'm sure you know it, I rarely go to bed before 4am. Sleep doesn't come to me naturally, even more-so after the incident. The people, sights, sounds... even the smells change. It's beautiful. And f I sleep, I'm gonna miss something. What happens if, I don't know, some major power in the world is taken hostage in the early hours of the morning? I'd be the first to see it. It gives a sense of... power."

Hawke leans back against the bench and lifts his bad leg onto his lap, and surveys the area around.

"So. Why the long face V-man?" He says, turning to Satoshi and giving a sympathetic smile.

Iyeeeeeeh..

I'm about to say 'don't laugh' but I take another look at my situation and remember I am speaking with one of my best friends in Yamaku.

Regardless, I still am a bit embarrassed. Something incredibly rare for me.

"Hawke...Have you ever felt like you're given help you feel could be given to someone who needs it more?"

"Heh, don't go there man. I was given the gift of life when someone else deserved it. What's happened?"

This is not normal for him. Where is his grin, his care-free attitude? Something has definitely got him riled.

Fu-huh-huck me, now I definitely don't deserve to act like this.

Egh, let's get this over with.

I begin to go on a rant-like speech. Taking few breaths and I seem to be getting faster and faster as I go on.

(Now, Satoshi's strong mental track thinks like this all the time and only some times lets it out of his mouth.

Be prepared for metephors and some statements that may not make much sense unless you are in any way powerful when it comes to creative imaginary thinking.)

"Well, I'm seeming to find myself in so many of those situations now-a-days."

"Like, I'll fall asleep at random standing up or something and people are so-damn-nice around here that I find myself woken up to, like, 30 people all like,-"

I do an impression of an extremely sweet, cute girl's voice but it sounds like crap with my own deep voice.

"-Oh you fell asleep so I gave you a pillow and blanket and loved you forever."

My voice goes back to my own.

"And it's not like I can not accept it, y'know, because I'm-well~kind of asleep."

"It's like if I'm some rich dude in the Roman Empire courts and all of the sudden God comes over to my mansion-place and is all like,'Bro, I got you that mana you ordered, dawg,"-and I'm all like,'Nah, dude, I think that was Moses. Why are you helping me? Don't you think starving people in the middle of the-"

I actually somehow gain a little bit of an English accent at this part for no apparent reason.

"-fffffucking desert-"

My accent slowly returns to my own.

"-would need that more?"

"Then God's all like,'shit, dude, I-I-I had no idea-man, I never thought about it that way,' and then he leaves but the very next time he's called he goes over my place again and it all like,'Clarifying...yoouuu saaaiid help the Israelites...right?,' and it just bothers me that I can't help them too because, y'know, I'm pretty friggen well off man,I-I mean-."

Prepare for a metephor WITHIN a metephor.

"I got, like, a fountain that spits out Mountain Dew! Pretty much compared to the people in my neighborhood-I'm ballin'! I'm making it rain so hard that people all the way in Africa start thinking for the first time in their life,'holy shit-Jamal! When is this rain going to stop?! We have enough fresh water over here!' and I just want to be able to give some of that away but I never seem to be able to and it's starting to become depressing watching everyone who cares for me a-a-and-"

"Satoshi, stop."

Hawke begins laughing, slowly at first but by the end he is gasping for breath.

"First things first, I need to carry a camera with me. That was beyond awesome! Do that more often. And secondly, shut up. You help me on a day to day basis. Just being there helps. You make me strive to better myself. Just your... Aura or something. I don't know what it is. But, you're plenty helpful."

"Do that again but shut up?-That doesn't even make any-"

'You help me on-'

I begin to shut up and listen until Tiberius finishes.

*sigh*

"A catchy personality may be able to cleanse a wound, but it will never stop the bleeding, nor shall it place a bandage..."

"That wound may easily become infected after it has been cleaned."

"Even if I am a hero like you say, I'll never be an astronaut."

I'm speaking more to myself than to Hawke. This explains my lack of breaking down my voiced thoughts into words people who never knew how to bandage a cut or never really thought about how cool astronauts really are can understand.

"Sometimes pain relief is the only way, man. Sometimes getting away from the pain can help locate the source."

Hawke begins thinking of his father. The past few months would have been difficult without the people here, and he'd taken the advice Dr Heisenberg or whatever gave him. Getting away from it all has helped.

""Can help people gain new perspective, or even live through their problems. Not every wound can be healed, Veach. Time is the best medicine, and you definitely help whittle away that time. And I don't know about you, but astronauts aren't exactly what I think of when I think of hero. Sure, they may be badass and shoot around space... but what do they do to help the little guy? I never bought into the whole national hero thing. My greatest hero was my English teacher for god's sake. and I don't even like English."

At this point, Hawke leans back once more and reaches into his bag and pulls out a CD, on the front it says: "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are".

"I know you aren't exactly the greatest Ska/Reggae or whatever fan, but when I'm in a bad mood it sure as hell cheers me up. Give it a listen."

[Few songs by Backbeat SoundSystem, Laid Blak, The King Blues & The Specials.]

Unless it's a broken bone and needs to be set in order to heal properly...

Oh whatever. No sense in arguing with him.

Even if his words don't cheer me up a little, his care does.

For me it's always been the thought that counts anyway. In good and in bad actions.

"Heh heh-I got plenty o' songs the cheer me up but I'll try these on to see how they fit instead for once."

"I tell ya, not a lot can beat a good blues guitarist like B.B. King."

...Why is it we always end up bringing up music when we can have so many awesome things to talk about?

Guess we have a variety of short topics but music will always be an everlasting topic.

Not knowing what to reply, Hawke simply puts an arm around Satoshi and gives a little squeeze.

"Whatever you say man, just a thought."

A Sudden crash emanates the area, and a large-ish loking man comes sprinting out of a nearby DVD shop clutching what one can only assume to be stolen goods, and runs towards the exit of the building.

Before either of them have time to react, he's gone. Not long followed by a pair of security guards.

A shadow of pure hate crosses Hawke's face, and he clenches his fist, forgetting about the CD and snapping it.

"Oh... oh shit man sorry. My bad."

He looks back in the direction of the fleeing thief, and turns away in disgust.

"Motherf#!@ing bastard.. I hate criminals."

Naturally when I plan on staying up all night in the city, I bring a couple kunai to protect myself.

A small, consealable, force unlike my tonfas even if I can control those better.

After I see the man running one is instictively drawn from my pocket.

"HM-...MMmmmmm..."

Way to out of range even with my natural accuracy.

No way I can even throw a knife that far...

Instead of worrying about the look on Hawkes face, though, I run over to the shop.

Practically shoving the door open to find the cashier.

My voice like an MP officer questioning someone.

"Sir! Are you alright! Anything hurt?"

Hawke turns to see Satoshi running toward the shop and follows after him.

He looks around and sees somebody on the floor, probably.knocked over by the thief.
"You ok there?"

I help the man up and we end up waiting for the police.

No sense in not doing that, I mean, it's not like we're late for staying up all night.

We get our witness questioning done and stuff and walk out.

"Wicked city life..."

My words are almost breathed out.

The man we helped up earlier walks over and thanks Satoshi for helping him up, and smiles at Hawke.


"See man? Little things."

"Eh-oh, no-it's just one of those things that needed doing."

I can't help but notice the size of the both of us on this man and then compare it to the size of the thief.

Damn, if we caught up to him...

Heh, something tells me we'd be a force.

The little interesting thought shakes from my mind as we continue to leave.

"Little things, I suppose."

A gesture of kindness or gratitude is always a great thing to me.

"It needed doing, and you're the one that did it. Do you not get satisfaction from that?"

I make a nervous grin.

"Not really. This may sound weird but, to me, doing stuff like that is like breathing."

"It's actually gratitude I like but only on certain occasions do I feel I deserve it for doing something I would of done anyway."

"I don't know why I do things like that, to tell you the truth."

"You do it because you're a good person."

This makes me a little embarrassed but I'm alright.

It's starting to get around 6:30 and I still am unable to feel hungry...hmmm perhaps I should head back to the dorms now, I don't want to stay out all night again.

My needs would most definitely break and I'd fall asleep in the street.

Not to mention I really need a shower. This long hair can only hold back so much grease before it'll start looking dirty.

"Grazie, Hawke."

"Well, man, I'm going to go back to the dorms. Been around here long enough."

*E* "Later, bruh."