Mind Games

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Mind Games

Post by Sayuri Motozaki on Sun Feb 24, 2013 10:48 pm

It had been three weeks since Sayuri arrived at Yamaku. Her first action had been to try and remove the accursed kendo blade that her parents had hung above her bed in her dorm room. She did not want it there. It reminded her of what she could no longer do. What she had lost. It remained there still, and still she loathed its presence.

In those three weeks Sayuri had not met many people. Satoshi and Yuuji were the only people she had talked to more than once outside of lessons. How curious it was that only the boys were interested in talking to her.

Nobody Sayuri had talked to had thought of her any differently because of her wheelchair. Nobody here looked at her and saw a freak, too tall for a Japanese woman, with useless, skeletal legs. No. They only saw Sayuri.

I wish I could see the same.

Still the kendo blade mounted above her bed haunted her, taunted her. Look, Sayuri. Look upon me and weep, for though you enjoyed my company many a time before, now you cannot wield me. Your body is too fragile, too weak. You are weak, Sayuri. Weak and pathetic.

"I AM NOT WEAK!"

Sayuri had not meant the words to leave her mouth, but they did, in a venomous scream. She leapt from her wheelchair, legs buckling instantly under the sudden strain of her weight pressing down on them. She clung to the edge of the bed, pulling herself onto it and crawling across the sheets on her stomach. Not very dignified behaviour for a lady such as herself, but Sayuri had tormented herself into a blind rage. Dignity no longer mattered. Pain no longer mattered.

I have to get rid of the blade. I should have done this weeks ago. I have to get rid of it.

Sayuri crouched on all fours beneath the blade. She had tried before, she could not stand on the bed. Perhaps she could jump up and knock it off its mounting. The blade almost seemed to grin at her. You can never reach me, Sayuri. You're too weak. Too broken.

"I am not broken."

This time Sayuri spoke merely in a cold whisper. In a great bound she leapt up and snatched at the kendo blade ripping it from its mountings. She fell back upon the bed in triumph, tossing the blade in the general direction of the bin.

"You see? I did it."

In her euphoria Sayuri almost forgot about her condition. She shifted herself so she was sitting on the side of the bed, then stood up. Her legs, already searing in pain from their abuse so far, cried enough, and Sayuri crumpled to the floor, clutching her thighs, moaning in agony. Tears of pain formed in the corner of her eyes.

The blade didn't matter anymore. She was still weak. She could barely even stand. She hardly needed the blade to remind her of that. She was reminded every time she struggled from her bed to her wheelchair, or back again. Every time she had to take an elevator to avoid the staircase she could not climb. Every time she foolishly tried to stand like this, leaving her legs crying out in pain, or worse.

Tears streamed down Sayuri's face now. She may have conquered the accursed blade, but for what? It mattered nothing. This disability was a foe she would never conquer, and the thought tore at her insides. She could not even re-enter her wheelchair now; she was reliant on someone hearing her and coming to her aid.

Helpless pathetic creature. I'm a disgrace, to my family and to myself. A disgrace.
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Satoshi Veach on Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:15 pm

I wonder what Sayuri is doing. I know I should of given her a note earlier or something, but the past can't be helped.

Besides, I doubt she'll mind and if she can't hang out or anything I can just go back to my dorm or go for a walk.

When I get to her floor I hear an inaudible shout to the left.

Was that-?

*Thud* *Th-thud!*

The as I come closer, the final thud sparks my imagination of what could possibly have made that noise. Many of those scenarios involve her.

*gasp* "Motozaki!"

I run up to the door and knock before putting my face up by the door.

"Motozaki?"
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Sayuri Motozaki on Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:29 pm

Veach-san? Even with the tears and the agony Sayuri could not help smiling. Oh God, this is so ironic. It was Satoshi who had found her after the first failed attempt. He had picked her up that time as well. This seemed to be becoming a habit.

"Veach-san. I..." The words felt acidic and bitter in her mouth. "I need help getting back in my wheelchair."
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Satoshi Veach on Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:55 pm

Uttering to myself in English, "Fuck, you scared me," I open the door and come inside.

"I'm starting to get deja vu."

I kneel beside the girl on the floor before speaking again.

"You know the drill."

Man, this is going to be a little harder. Last time she was on the bed.

After Sayuri hooks her arms around my neck, I cup mine under her thighs and lower back.

Now squatting I lift.

"123Upsiedaisy!"

Perhaps it's all of the exercise I've been getting since I got here but she seems way lighter than the last time. I can actually stand with her like this.

After standing up I look down at the girl in my arms. My face sincere.

"Are you okay? What made you-"

Wait-there is only one thing that could of made her do that.

I glance at the mount to see the sword missing.

My mind reverts back to the hall when I heard three thuds.

Quickly judging the likely possible trajectory of the projectile I look over and see where it landed across the room before muttering to myself.

"Damn..."

Don't eff with Motozaki. Hot damn.

I look down at the dark-haired girl to find her looking back.

"I'm proud of you."

My worried look morphs back into my grin.

I actually forget that I was putting her back in her chair for a moment.
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Sayuri Motozaki on Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:36 am

Yes, I know the drill. At least I'm not the only one with deja vu.

Sayuri hooks her arms around Satoshi's neck and he lifts her up. This is the second time he has done this, and yet somehow it feels even more awkward than the first.

He's asking if I'm okay. I was lying on the ground crying in pain. Do I look like I'm okay, you- Sayuri's train of thought is halted as she notices the boy's expression change. He looks at the mount where the kendo blade used to lie, then at its present resting place near the bin. He's figured it out. Surely he has.

His next remark catches Sayuri off guard. "P-proud of me?" Her face colours bright scarlet. "Proud of me? Why proud of me?"
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Satoshi Veach on Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:57 am

Still holding Sayuri in my arms I turn and look out the lone window in the room. The sky a mixture of a blue and cream color.

"There aren't many out there who don't let their body hold back their mind."

Memories from stories of famous war heroes in every time period from the middle ages to the Afghanistan conflict five years before flood into my mind. Even some stories I remember about breaking limits with the power of will in normal life.

"That's why I'm proud of you..."

I look back down to see her blushing bright red.

Eeeeeh, sorry.
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Sayuri Motozaki on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:04 am

"Thank you. You can put me back in the wheelchair now."
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Satoshi Veach on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:07 am

"Huh?"

Oops. Dagnabit-dammit!

"Oh. Sorry."

Embarassed, I set her back down in her chair.

We're both red in the face now.
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Sayuri Motozaki on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:15 am

"Again, I have to ask you...what exactly were you doing in the girls' dorms?"

He must have some sort of sixth sense for when a girl needs to be white-knighted. Sayuri shuddered inwardly at the very thought of someone feeding off her perceived helplessness.
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Satoshi Veach on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:38 am

"Actually I was-"

Did she just shudder? Son of a bitch...

"Hey-I was not doing what you think I was doing! I just came here to see you, that's all."
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Sayuri Motozaki on Mon Feb 25, 2013 10:10 am

Sayuri is somewhat taken aback at this. "You came here to see me? Why?"
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Satoshi Veach on Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:40 am

"I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out today, is all."

My face flushes back to it's original color.

"I haven't seen you around too much so I figured I'd stop bye."
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Sayuri Motozaki on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:06 pm

"I see..."

Sayuri was still aware of the pain coursing through her legs.

"...maybe some other time. I'm not feeling up to it today."
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Satoshi Veach on Tue Feb 26, 2013 3:00 am

She may be embarrassed but her face doesn't show it if she is. Perhaps a different reason. Too much of a variable for me to detective it from her look. Best not to push for an answer to satisfy curiosity either.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

I give a little bow.

"I'm glad I could of at least been of assistance, though."

Something hits me which may be important. Something I wish I could do when my disorder is triggered.

"Here."

I rip a small piece of paper off, take out a pencil, and write on it before handing it over.

"Anything happens again and no one else is around, text me."

She may have a strong grip of pride, but she seems to hate dropping her pride less than being a strong mind in a helpless body.
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Sayuri Motozaki on Tue Feb 26, 2013 8:23 am

Better than lying helpless on the ground for God-knows-how-long. Sayuri takes the paper from Satoshi. "I will. Thank you, Veach-san."
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Re: Mind Games

Post by Satoshi Veach on Tue Feb 26, 2013 11:40 am

I don't say anything afterward. Just a "hm" mixed with a reassuring grin before exiting the room.

"Later."
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