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[Open] Last resort.

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Post by Tiberius Hawke Tue Mar 19, 2013 1:09 am

For the past few weeks, the police investigation in England hadn't been running so well. They were no closer to finding out the perpetrators of his father's death, and Hawke was no closer to remembering either. He was regularly taking his medicine, and making timelines like the doctor said, all to no avail. The whole night was a blank.

Upon hearing from several classmates that the school had enlisted the help of a psychotherapist, Hawke decided a quick session might be beneficial into unlocking the darker recesses of his mind. It had taken a lot of courage to work up the nerve to go to the new guy, but he'd done it. Only crazy people have psychiatrists... right? He thought to himself, but then realised what's more important - his self respect or the justice he could bring to his father's murderers and the people that left him unable to move faster than 2 miles per hour? The latter.... He thinks.

He walks up to the door, pauses for a few seconds, then knocks three times and waits patiently, nervously licking his lips.
Tiberius Hawke
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Post by Satoshi Veach Tue Mar 19, 2013 1:48 am

The door opens and I walk out past Hawke with a serious look. Deep in thought.

I have been seeing the school psychotherapist often lately to the point where rumors are spreading that I have issues before I even meet someone.

Of course I was never one to care since I do not feel the people who spread rumors are not good enough people for me to even assoiciate with but that is my current position.

With nearly identical facial expressions, Tiberius and I pass eachother with nothing to say but a slight nod.

Like we understand there is a time everyone needs help.

I can already tell this little encounter of ours' is going to stay between us.

After our brief acknowledgement we pass by eachother, leaving Hawke with Mr.Hemmington.
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Post by Denser Hemington Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:39 pm

He closes his notepad and calls.

"Come in!"
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Post by Tiberius Hawke Tue Mar 19, 2013 9:43 pm

Hawke ducks through the door, on account of his height, and limps up to the desk and offers his hand out to the Psychotherapist.

"Hi there, it's mr... Mr... Err.. Mr Hemmingway right? I'm Tiberius Hawke."

Hawke then waits for an invitation to sit down and a return for his handshake.
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Post by Denser Hemington Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:20 pm

(Wow, tall. A rare height in Japan.)

He stands up as you approach the desk and smiles politely, adjusts his glasses and his hand meets yours. He shakes it with a certain grip, quickly.

"Ahah, I wish I had Hemingway's talent, but my name is Hemington. Hello, Hawke. Nice to meet you. Please take a sit."
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Post by Tiberius Hawke Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:50 pm

"Thank you, sir."

Hawke takes a seat in the chair opposite Denser's.

"I wanted to, er, to ask you a couple of questions. Are you familiar with the subject of... memories?"

Hawke looks very uncomfortable at this point, with the memory of his father washing through him. But not the important one.
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Post by Denser Hemington Tue Mar 19, 2013 11:06 pm

He sits down, crosses his hands on the desk and looks at you. His smile drops and his face become more serious.

(He must have hesitated a lot before coming here. I can understand that seeing someone like me scare people. I must get used to it.)

"You can ask as many questions as you want, that is why I'm in this place."

He smiles again, reassuringly.

"Memories is a vast subject. Very vast. But I do know some concepts. Shoot your questions. I'm here to listen."
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Post by Tiberius Hawke Tue Mar 19, 2013 11:19 pm

"Well.. err.. I'm struggling to remember something.. important. To me. It's part of the reason why I'm here. I take medication to help improve my memory, and I have several techniques I've been told to try but nothing seems to work. I was wondering.."

Hawke pauses for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts.

"Y'know in, movies and stuff... when people have trouble remembering, it's because they're.... supressing it. Is that possible?"

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Post by Denser Hemington Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:19 am

"I see."

(Something important and probably tragic, given his hesitation.)

"In case of traumas, it's a common phenomenon."

He pauses for a bit, seeming to choose his words carefully.

"You see, when people experience something... intense, their minds do a blackout. To protect themselves, the event is suppressed, as you said. It is especially true for children. I heard disturbing stories about this kind of behavior."
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Post by Tiberius Hawke Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:25 am

"I see. So it's common in children? Well this happened only a few months ago so.. is it still a possibility that I blacked out?"

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Post by Denser Hemington Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:37 am

"It often happens, and mostly for children. But it happens to adults too."

He smiles a bit.

"Well, since you forgot it, I think we can say that it is, indeed."

His smile drops.

"It's a defense system. You experience something shocking, and stop me now if it wasn't, and your subconscious decides to put a part of it, or all of it, away."
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Post by Tiberius Hawke Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:43 am

"It was pretty... shocking. Yeah. Definitely shocking. Do I need to explain it or...?"
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Post by Denser Hemington Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:58 am

"You don't have to, no. I don't want you to tell me because you 'have to'. I'm not here to extract information from you, but to help and advise. It's your call."
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Post by Tiberius Hawke Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:00 am

"Hmm. I'm guessing knowing the exact circumstance of the trauma would help though... right? It might help me to talk about it to someone I guess... I haven't told anyone thus far."
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Post by Denser Hemington Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:09 am

"It might help me to have a more precise point of view. If you feel like you can tell, do tell me. Everything said here remains here. Secrets are safe."
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Post by Tiberius Hawke Wed Mar 20, 2013 1:19 am

"Well. The bare bones of it were I was attacked with my father, by a group of thugs. I was pretty badly beaten up and my father died from his injuries... However, I was told that after. I have no idea what actually happened on the night. I suffered some head trauma but the doctor said it would only affect my short-term memory. He said I should remember in the next few weeks. I need to remember..."

Hawke buries his head in his hands.

"I'm the only link they have to finding my father's killers and I'm next to useless. I need to remember."


Last edited by Tiberius Hawke on Wed Mar 20, 2013 7:18 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Denser Hemington Wed Mar 20, 2013 2:22 am

(Well shit. Talk about a trauma. He must feel horribly guilty. Now Denser, remain objective. Don't play the "I'm so sorry" game. He doesn't need that.)

"I understand. It's good you managed to tell me that. I have a few ideas now."

"First, maybe, if it's possible and not too hard to bear, you could return to the place where it happened if you didn't already. It could help your memory."

"But, more importantly, you are obviously feeling guilty. I understand why, perfectly. First, you survived, not him. Second, you have the key to punish these bastards but can't find it."

He speaks gently and slowly, looking at you. Calm and serious.

"The problem is that this guilt is probably one of the main reasons you don't remember. The formula is simple : the more you feel guilty, the more pressure you feel and you can't remember better, thus feeling more guilty. Rinse and repeat. I'm afraid that if you don't overcome your guilt, you won't remember."

(Harsh, but true.)

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Post by Tiberius Hawke Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:30 pm

"G-guilty? Yeah... you could say that.. How do we overcome my guilt?"
Hawke stops for a few seconds, "We might have a problem with going back to the scene.... It's in England."
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Post by Denser Hemington Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:53 pm

(Oh, England. I have some British origins, but it's pretty much useless to mention this.)

"Indeed, it'd be complicated."

"How to overcome guilt? It's a work on yourself, basically. You can't fake your mind with it. You can't lie to yourself about guilt, it is a strong and deep feeling. But I can help you work through it. Your mind is running in something like 'I must remember... why can't I? I'm useless... they must hate me... I must remember...". A loop. You must break it. Nothing that happened was your fault, Hawke."
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Post by Tiberius Hawke Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:05 pm

"W-well.. I.."

For god's sake, man up. You're better than this.

Taking a few seconds to compose himself, Hawke begins again, after breathing heavily through his nose: "Ok. I never really thought of it as my fault... there were armed thugs out for his blood, not much a pacifist can do against that." And lets out a small laugh. "Although, not feeling guilty about the trail will be hard" he pauses for a second, "They are literally at a dead-end last time I heard, and I'm their only hope. 'No pressure Hawke, but we're fucked without you!'"
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Post by Denser Hemington Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:23 pm

He frowns.

"Did they actually say that to you? That is not helping. You experienced a very traumatizing event recently, and putting pressure on you is the worst thing to you."

"I am sure you want to know the truth and to help them as you can, but you have to think about yourself. Relax. I know it sounds silly, given the circumstances, but just burying yourself under this pressure will do no good. At all."
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Post by Tiberius Hawke Thu Mar 21, 2013 12:03 am

"No, they didn't say that. But when I speak to my mum on the phone... it's all we talk about. The investigation. How badly it's going, how nothing they try works. How I'm the last hope..."

Hawke feels anger rising up inside of him like a rolling thunder, and stands up and slams his fist on the table.

"How the hell can I relax when there's people running around murdering people? I could be next. You could be next. It's just wrong. The whole world is so fucked that people resort to tearing away the thing people hold most dear to them, their lives... just for spare change. It's wrong. And I can't get over it."

He sits back down again.

"I'm sorry. It makes me sick."
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Post by Denser Hemington Thu Mar 21, 2013 10:16 pm

He remains surprisingly calm during your outburst, looking at you calmly.

"Yes, the world is fucked up. These things happen, and you are not the first to experience them. I know it is unfair, and unfair is a really weak word here, but you can't change it. Your anger isn't targeted at the right direction."

"The wound is fresh so your reaction is perfectly understandable, I'm not here to judge you. But this anger is probably, along with the guilt, the reason you can't recall. You're blinded by them."

He puts off his glasses.

(I'm being a bit harsh, but he doesn't need sweet words. He needs to overcome all this.)

"You're taking all this on yourself. It wasn't your fault if this happened. Want my advice? Step out. For a bit. Cut communications and find your own self again. I'm not saying you shouldn't talk to your mother, but try to change topics. Comfort her. Explain. She can understand."
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Post by Tiberius Hawke Thu Mar 21, 2013 11:42 pm

"Stop talking to my... mother? That's not too hard... I don't really get on with her. How long do you think it would take to remember?"
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Post by Denser Hemington Fri Mar 22, 2013 9:44 am

"Well, if you can't get anything else than this topic during your conversations with her, I'd suggest taking a break, yes."

"How long?"

He puts his glasses on again and adjusts them.

"That's not something one can numerize. It could take days, weeks, years. I know it is hard to hear, but stepping out of the pressure will definitely help."
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