Rachel Cook

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Rachel Cook

Post by Rachel Cook on Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:18 am

NAME: Rachel Cook
AGE: 16
CLASS: High school junior
APPEARANCE: Golden blonde hair, petite stature, though still somewhat tall when compared to the vast majority of Japanese women, and creamy skin. In terms of her attire, she prefers to dress in conservatively, while still showing her lean legs. Her most distinguishing feature are her mismatched iris', with one being green and the other being brown. When her condition starts acting up, she will be seen with a metal cane to help her keep her balance.

BACKSTORY: The younger sister of Christopher Cook, Rachel wasn't born a werewolf like her older brother. For her own safety, she has never been told or has not uncovered the truth behind her unique heritage. In response to this, she spent her early adolescence under the care of her human father and older brother. Rachel spent much of her early adolescence with her brother and human father in consideration for her own safety. Such a decision had it's fair share of drawbacks though, as Rachel was raised under the care of the same abusive father that Chris was. Rachel was raised under the fallacy that her family is no different than any ordinary family, and she is still under this impression. Despite the fact that Chris has never once mentioned her before, largely due to the fact that he was trying desperately to forget his tortured past, the two are as close as siblings should be. Despite her limitations as a human, she still spent much of her early adolescence training herself to become "the perfect support role". This involved her applying herself in the fields of medicine and social psychology. Her will to succeed is so strong that she teeters on the edge of obsessive at times. Rachel's eyes are mismatched, a trait that can be attributed to having inhereted her mother's heterochromia. A side effect of her condition is that her left eye is virtually useless. Rachel, being that she suffers from less than adequate vision, Before coming to Yamaku, Rachel recieved instruction from her mother in her desired fields of study whenever she could. Medicine and basic social interaction applications. Now, she finds herself joining her brother at Yamaku at the request of the siblings mother. The reason for this relocation is that things aren't exactly going smoothly "back home". Rumors of a war between werewolves and vampires began circulating, and so the younger members of the aformentioned werewolf clans were sent off to various inconspicious locations around the world while their parents deal with the politics associated with war.
PERSONALITY: Rachel is much more coy than her brother, but she still takes it upon herself to help her "reckless" brother in whatever way she can. She is an experienced chef and medic that goes out of her way to assist the less fortunate and lame, unlike her seemingly cold brother. Her caring personality and general soft-spokenness often conflicts with Chris' "survival of the fittest" methodology, and monotone and cold sounding voice. She has a pension for cute novelties, nature, classical art and music, and many other practices usually associated as being"feminine" practices. Much like her brother, Rachel is much more favoring of her mother than her abusive father. She just prefers not to voice her disdain for her father like Chris does. Chris tends to think of her "as the type of girl that will make a perfect wife one day", what with her need to always impress others. Rachel, as anyone suffering from such a disability would realistically be, is very self-conscious of her disability. Her condition is one of the leading causes of her apprehensive nature. Being raised under the care of an abusive father will have this effect too. She will need to overcome her social phobias if she ever wants to cut it in the field of social psychology. Rachel is religious about cooking, reading and housework. Her will to succeed is so strong that she teeters on the edge of obsessive at times. Although Rachel has admitted to having had several crushes on boys in the past, "she is much too shy to ever garner these boys attention". It's more a self-confidence issue really.



Last edited by Rachel Cook on Sun Mar 31, 2013 8:37 am; edited 6 times in total
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by Rachel Cook on Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:19 am

Please, guys, give me a chance!!! :'(
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by Raiden on Sat Mar 30, 2013 10:56 am

I'm very, very close to denying you again. I asked you to use the template we have provided, not make up one of your own. You must also update your profile picture to match the one here. When you've done that, bump the thread and we'll have another look.
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by LQ-84i on Sat Mar 30, 2013 11:03 am

In addition to Raiden's statements, can you scratch up something more in-depth about your character when you do this, and I don't believe someone acquires Heterochromia from accidents, the part about becoming vision-impaired from one is alright but you don't change the color of the iris from an accident like this.

It's fairly simple, use the template we provided, fill it out, try to go as in-depth as you feel the need to be with your character's backstory as you think is important to know taking care to cover any details that makes everything about her make sense enough for her to be such a way and we're all leave here much happier than we were prior.
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by Rachel Cook on Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:47 pm

Okay, after some tweaking on my part, let's try this again.
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by Raiden on Sat Mar 30, 2013 9:02 pm

As I said in my PM to you, use the template we have provided. And that means directly copy/paste it into your profile and go from there.

There isn't such a thing as "high school sophomore" in Japan. First years are freshmen, second years are juniors and third years are seniors.

Just putting a picture under "Appearance" and leaving it at that is lazy and unacceptable. Check the guidelines in the template about what info you should put there.

You should SERIOUSLY expand your backstory. I don't know why, but a lot of people think "Backstory" means "define your character's abilities and disabilities". While that is important, it's far more important to know about the character's life - her fears, hopes, dreams, aspirations, relationship with her family and friends, upbringing, outlook on life, and most importantly, you have to explain WHY they are the way they are. After reading the backstory, I need to go like "Yeah, okay, I totally see why this character would turn out the way she is after she went through those events"

Everything else appears to be fine. Bump the thread when you've edited the things above (as well as anything else another admin might point out) and we'll take another look.

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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by Rachel Cook on Sat Mar 30, 2013 10:22 pm

I'm ready for another go, fellas.
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by NorXTNP on Sun Mar 31, 2013 4:41 am

This is better than the time before which was better than the time before which was better than the time before which was MILES better than the first try.


I still think the back story is short, but on the other side,most people write 1-2 paras, and seeing it a sa whole, it is kinda okay for me. I mean i do kinda have low standarts but i am still nitpicking about so much things , which makes me a hypocratee, but there is no real scale on what i rate characters anyway as i rate all of them invidual

However,ill warn you right away, This character may or may not get to be boring at some point. Why? Well simple, because of her influenced backstory.
That just depens on how good you develop a character, if you wish to expand her a little more,feel free, i would highly appreciate it. I think there are some key elements missing , some people give a very vague outline (like you) "She wants to become the perfect support role" etc. And some define it way too much ("As she was 18 years, 2 months and 5 days old, at 11 Am and 32 minutes on a saturday morning she ate a crossaint with cappucino).

But there are some people who hit the perfect spot a character should be in


"As she was 16, she drank alot of cappucino with french breakfest,knowing herself she is a cultural disaster, still doing it because it was her way to enjoy it, however,as she was 18,she got over that addiction".

Try to hit that middle a little more precisely and try to define her years alittle more.

I know you can do it,i believe in you. Go on .







Oh one thing on the sidenote:

And one thing i just want to point out because i was actually reading samantha cook (I know you didnt STATE this in this character here) is that we only allowed your super human powers if you can use them. There will be no war between werewolfs and vampires as we have vampires(even if slightly inactive) in our community. You can have fight RPs but we dont make this a twillight story.(i mean i fought with you just dont forget what i told you about playing the opposite character and being so strong that not even one clearly defined strong man cant beat you even if he expressivly stated he broke your bones)

Oh and if all vampires and werewolfes agree on a war , atleast let me make Sella bwan character to fall in love with a masochistic lion. Thanks.



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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by Rachel Cook on Sun Mar 31, 2013 6:32 am

Okay, guys, could you please give RACHEL COOK another gander?
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by Raiden on Sun Mar 31, 2013 7:11 am

I'll have to ask you to put more, you know, backstory in her backstory. What was her life like in the clan? How did she feel about having to fight friggin werewolves? How did she feel about being UNABLE to fight them? Didn't seeing her own family kill other people faze her even a bit? I don't really imagine she had a normal childhood, seeing as she was part of a werewolf clan. You should elaborate more on her early life.

Also - the moment a war between vampires and werewolves starts is the moment where I'll shut down this forum. This is my first and only warning. I don't CARE if everyone on both sides consented and wants to happen. This is an RP community dedicated to exploring disabilities and how they affect human relationships, not a fucking Twilight knock-off.
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by Rachel Cook on Sun Mar 31, 2013 8:03 am

Rest assured, no such war will ever be mentioned. I just thought this information was important. Dude, please just let my other character join the ranks of your wonderful website.
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by NorXTNP on Sun Mar 31, 2013 9:42 am

i really did hope that you saw me only making a joke. there wont be any war between anything in this forum .


And since that is the case, and we are roleplaying in a fairly peacefull 2020, you wouldnt have to mention the war.


Anyway, Spamming pictures wont help,fix what needs to be fixed. There is still room for improvements, but i for my side will not force you to write a fking book now, in other words, ill approve you.

Please just keep in mind that "short but spicy" isnt a therm anyone should ever use for roleplaying, so if you submitt a 3th character,please let this character be like rachel NOW ATLEAST and not like samantha or christopher at their first giving. otherwise ill be mad.

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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by Raiden on Sun Mar 31, 2013 9:48 am

NorX - Yeah, I know that you meant it as a joke... but other people might not have gotten it. The last thing we need here is to have a forum war Very Happy

Chris - I know you want to have her join, but I'm afraid it's not that simple. We can't approve of a flawed profile just because you really want us to. As it is now, your profile is just BARELY above acceptable. I would be willing to approve you, but I'd like to hear what SilentFox has to say about this as well.
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by LQ-84i on Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:41 am

I would be willing too, however I am objective and what I am asking you is what I would be asking anyone to be doing. There are room for improvements at all times for anyone, I just want to challenge those to do better because well... it makes them better.


I can approve this right now, but it would irk me. I suppose it wouldn't be objective if I allow such things to get in the way of my approval. So while I don't expect you to write a novella explaining every single thing because that's not what a concept of a character should be. In fact the rules state we really don't want to see all that much if one can avoid it. I would want to see something that completely encompasses the basics you want to convey for us to understand.

It's what I would expect from anyone.

On account of whether I will approve this or not, I suppose I could as much as I would want better.

Is everyone truly okay with this?
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by NorXTNP on Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:24 am

The thing is , its some kind of love-hate relationship with christopher.

As i roleplayed iwth him, i fairly say he wasnt the best roleplayer ever,but he was sure as hell performing well enough. But everytime he submits a character he takes so much tries till he gets it right.-

The question is, how much efford do you actually put in here.

Lets say the very first application, that was shockingly bad. I know some certain guy who couldve written this better.

Everytime i work with you at one of your (2) characters, i feel like being gordon ramsay in an incredibly bad episode of kitchen nightmares.


Now my FINAL question is, Will this ever happen again?

Next time i will , if you DARE to not have ATLEAST THIS STANDART you have now with your FIRST Try i may (depending on how bad the case is) not only denie the character but the concept itself.
And a concept denial is (if all admins agree) a denial you cannot get out of:


WITH THAT BEING SAID


Yes, i think, you proved yourself , even if only a tad above acceptable.

As it is now, i Approve you. This word is final.

However, mark my words,because they are serious

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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by Christopher Cook on Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:33 am

Thank you... I can't decide if you all are trying to scare me or not. You should all consider writing horror novels!!! In all seriousness though, I will only ever have these two characters to my name.
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Re: Rachel Cook

Post by Raiden on Mon Apr 01, 2013 1:17 pm

Alright, let me make this perfectly clear - I'm going to approve your profile just because I don't want to be a dick and deny it after so much time. BUT! If you submit a third profile which is as poor as your first two were in the beginning, it will be instantly denied with no chance of being approved. We're just not going to waste our time with it.
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