Mizo Takameshi Character Profile

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Mizo Takameshi Character Profile

Post by Mizo Takameshi on Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:30 am

NAME:Mizo Takameshi

AGE:17

CLASS:Junior

APPEARANCE:Black medium length hair, hazel eyes, light build. when out of uniform he wares jeans and wacky,Pop culture themed t-shirts with his favorite pair of sneakers.

BACKSTORY:Mizo spent his entire life in the same small quiet town. Due to his shyness Mizo never had many friends growing up. His parents even though caring,were always busy with work so as a result he spent a lot of time alone. There were other kids his age who tried to reach out to him, but he was always too afraid to reach back.Due to his reclusive nature he took to model building and reading to pass his free time, but it was no real replacement for actual friends. When he was in grade 7 there was a girl in Mizo's class that he really liked, and the whole year he wanted to tell her how he felt, but again his shyness kept him from acting on that urge and he eventually missed that chance.One day while taking a walk near the local park he blacked out and woke up in the hospital. Mizo was confused, he had no idea at first where he was or how he'd gotten there, and every fiber of his being ached. Once he'd had a chance to rest the Doctors explained to him and his parents that he had suffered from a major seizure. After they had run some tests the Doctors concluded that it had been caused by Epilepsy and that Mizo was at about the right age where it can sometimes manifest, in addition to the possibility of seizures it would also cause some memory problems. Once the doctors were sure his medicine was working they suggested he transfer schools due to the fact that even though he was on the medication he still ran the risk of having intense seizures.His parents agreed with this decision and had him transferred to Yamaku Academy. With a fresh start ahead he hopes to finally overcome his shyness and not let his condition get in the way of his life.

PERSONALITY: Mizo is very shy and quiet. He's really a very nice person, but often comes across as weird and awkward because he's always by himself, this has made it very hard for him to make friends. However to the few that know Mizo well enough to know the real him can tell you that he has a big heart and even bigger dreams. Mizo cares deeply about the people around him even though most all of them have never known it. His sense of curiosity and wonderment is ever expanding due to how much he reads, and has flair for creativity. Mizo has however developed a new side to his personality, a side of frustration...of anger, and...of some confusion all brought on by his newly developed condition. All in all, Mizo is a good person, with his share of problems (buy then again who doesent?) even if slightly misunderstood on occasion


Last edited by Mizo Takameshi on Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:35 am; edited 3 times in total
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Mizo Takameshi

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Re: Mizo Takameshi Character Profile

Post by NorXTNP on Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:59 am

1) you need a profile picture.
2) the backstory is way to short, it sounds more like a short part of where it went wrong, but you should include so much more. I mean i do not even know where to start, just ...more length. I mean, more detail, greater detail. should be at least thrice of what it is now. I hope that is not too much to ask of. But this just feels like there is barely any effort in the profile. No offense.

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Re: Mizo Takameshi Character Profile

Post by Raiden on Sun Jun 16, 2013 9:05 am

I'm behind NorX 100%. You've made a pretty common mistake where you assume "backstory" = "explain your character's disability here". While doing that is important, we also need to know so much more. Some very general questions are - what was his childhood like? What are his parents like? Did he have many friends, and why (or why not)? Any romantic interests? How did he change when he grew up? Where did he live? Did he move at any point? Any close friends that impacted his life? Any hobbies? How did all of that affect his personality? I mean, come on, you have seventeen years of his life here, and all you've focused on is a single event! We require our members to put a LOT of effort into their characters before we approve them, and it really doesn't seem like you've even tried. Please, expand your profile greatly and add a picture of your character as your avatar, then bump up the thread so we can take another look.
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Re: Mizo Takameshi Character Profile

Post by Mizo Takameshi on Tue Jun 18, 2013 11:04 pm

ok, i put a lot more time into my profile and added a profile pic. I hope this fixes the previous problems. sorry for not giving enough info the first time, I guess I was a little unclear on the back story part.
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Re: Mizo Takameshi Character Profile

Post by Raiden on Tue Jun 18, 2013 11:20 pm

That looks slightly better. I don't see any glaring holes in your backstory, though the other admins might disagree. In any case, I can't approve you just yet - I'll need you to expand your personality section greatly. It's simply impossible to describe a three-dimensional character's personality with just two sentences. Also - proof-read your post. It's got tons of typos, and some of the sentences don't make sense grammatically.
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Re: Mizo Takameshi Character Profile

Post by NorXTNP on Wed Jun 19, 2013 7:32 pm

I am about to accept your profile JUST because of the picture you choose.
Setsuna F. Seiei. From Gundam 00.
I am a Fan of the name Setsuna, and of Gundam, and gundam 00 is the best Gundam next to the UC Timeline.

However, if i would approve you BECAUSE of that, i wont be admin for long anymore, or atleast not someone who is allowed to look at profiles.

I agree with raiden, if you expand your personality, youre sure to be accepted.

And no, i am not saying that to keep you from my obvious biast, i am saying this because it needs to be done. No Setsuna trumpf card here Very Happy

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Re: Mizo Takameshi Character Profile

Post by Mizo Takameshi on Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:44 am

I went through and fixed some of the grammar errors & expanded on the personality. Sorry for the mistakes, it has been a while since I was in school.I really do want to do my character right, because there is a big part of me in that character. When I was about 17 I found out that I'm Epileptic after suffering from a seizure, it's a scary experience. So I just want to say thank you guys for all the help with getting my profile sorted out so far. I've had some crummy experiences with RPMB's in the past, but guys have been really nice so far. I'm glad I took a chance.

OH! also bump.
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Re: Mizo Takameshi Character Profile

Post by NorXTNP on Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:26 pm

Oh,okay, than you are not mad at us for pointing out to many mistakes.

that is why we sadly had to denie 2 or 3 people in the past few weeks, they just did not want to update their profile anymore and either was going inactive or straight out told us exactly that.

dont do that please \o/


Anyway, i am not sure what the other admins think,i see its larger than before,it makes sense, on a logical level as on a wirtten level, now i dont think i see any holes in this character anymore.

maybe Raiden or SilentFox want atleast 1 or 2 more sentences,but i am Fine

Approved.

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Re: Mizo Takameshi Character Profile

Post by Raiden on Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:39 pm

You appear to have taken our advice to heart and have improved your character based on it. As such, I see no other obvious flaws  and no reason to reject you any further.

Approved.
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