Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

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Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Kiyonori Kida on Sun Oct 06, 2013 10:04 pm

NAME: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida

AGE: 33

CLASS: Elementary School Teacher

APPEARANCE: Kiyonori has brown hair that is medium length, but has a shorter cut some parts of the year & somewhat bushy eyebrows and glasses & sideburns that he's rather proud of.He has a cybernetic right leg and arm that he received as a result of an accident. He has a rather light build, "scrawny" to put it simply. He's rather short, only measuring in at five foot even, he's even shorter than both of his parents. He has an assortment of turtle neck sweaters that he likes to wear, the red one being his favorite.

BACKSTORY: When other kids were playing doctor or cops & robbers, Kiyonori was always playing Teacher.Growing up in Fuchū, His father was a successful businessman & his Mother worked for the Government. It was obvious from a young age that he already knew what he wanted to do with his life. His passion to want to teach turned him into a sort of knowledge sponge, soaking up every little bit of information he could.In Jr. High and some of High school he helped out some of his fellow students by tutoring them, this made him realized that he had a true passion for teaching. His constant thirst for knowledge cause him to get very good grades, and even though he was always studying he always made time for his two best friends Izumo, and Aiya. Even though some of the other kids thought he was weird for studying all of the time,Izumo & Aiya could care less, and Kiyonori didn't really care what others though of him, as long as he had his friends.Things did get a little weird for him in his last year if Jr. High when he was ready to tell Aiya that he thought he may love her. The day he'd planned to do so, he ended up getting crushed when just moments before Izumo had told Aiya that he had feelings for her. He didn't talk to them for a while, but eventually convinced himself that as long as his two friends could be happy then that was enough for him. Even when the three went to different high schools, they stayed in touch and even though they don't get a chance to talk as much they're still great friends.Having moved to Bunkyo to attend college, and it was during his first year there that he met Miyoko,she was studying to become a surgeon with a specialization in Cybernetics. It was love at first sight so to speak...well for one of them at least. Miyoko, while not completely uninterested in him,but wasn't completely interested either. Through his persistence and her growing interest in him, she finally agreed to go out with him.Their First date was, in a word, terrible. Nothing went right, and he was convinced that Miyoko would never want to see him again. He was proven wrong though, when she called the next day and asked if she could see him again some time. Confused, after how the date had gone, she explained that even though things had gone wrong she'd been able to see just how much of a caring person he was. He of course agreed to see her again and they began to date & fell in love with one another, it was during this time that Miyoko gave him the nickname Kiyon. Eventually they both finished college, Kiyonori with his Degree in teaching and a minor in English, the two got married and moved into their first apartment together in one of the larger cities.With Miyoko starting her internship at a nearby hospital as a Cybernetics Surgery, & with Kiyonori Finding his first teaching post the two were very happy together, albeit rather busy. However happiness can turn to tragedy, and in this case it did. One morning on his way to work a speeding car ran a red light and hit/ran over several people who were crossing. In the accident Kiyonori's right arm and leg got rather mangled. Miyoko was very upset and wanted to do every thing she could for her husband. So while Kiyonori recovered she went to her parents, One a Cybernetics Scientist, and the other a successful Doctor, and asked them for help. Seeing how much this meant to her they agreed to do what they could to help and her Father, who was a top Cybernetics Scientist at the company made famous the brilliant Kenshi Kato, built a rather impressive cybernetic arm and leg for his son-in-law. Once he'd recovered a bit and Miyoko had talked to him about it, He agreed to the cybernetics as long as Miyoko, who by this time had finished her internship and was a full Cybernetic Surgeon, preform the surgery to attach his cybernetic limbs. After quite some arguing with the several of the higher up hospital staff, it was finally agreed upon.It took Kiyonori quite some time to adjust to his new limbs.Even getting so frustrated that he almost gave up several times, but his wife was always there to encourage him to keep going. With out her he was sure he'd of never recovered.Once out of the hospital he notice the way some people looked at him, with eyes of pity and looks that said "Oh that poor man" and he hated it, and felt embarrassed. It was around this time that he started to wear the turtle necks and long pants, so that people wouldn't be able to see the result of his accident. Finally able to, he returned to work, to his passion. Teaching. He taught at the same school for several years, and even was awarded a couple of awards for teaching, but the awards didn't really matter all that much to him, he was teaching and he loved it.One day Miyoko told him some exciting news, she was getting transferred to a hospital in a different city where she'd be head of surgery. Not wanting to be a hindrance to his wife's dreams he put Kiyonori put in and got approved to teach at the new Yamaku Elementary School.

PERSONALITY: He's rather outgoing and always eager when it comes to his job,he give it his all and then some. He's always willing to try and help the students that act out, because he wants to see the best in every one. This however causes him to stay late some times trying to help these so called problem kids, and it does cause some problems at home.His accident has caused it's share of problems too, he often wakes up in the night screaming from the terrible dreams he has that involve him reliving the accident. He always tries to keep and up beat attitude but his arm and leg remind him of the terrible things that can happen to anyone.


Last edited by Kiyonori Kida on Tue Oct 08, 2013 5:45 am; edited 5 times in total (Reason for editing : Patching up those glaring holes in my back story.)
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Raiden on Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:27 am

The only problem I have with it is that you have pretty much skimmed over his adult life. The guy is in his 30s, and it feels to me like you've only really described his life up until he graduates from high school, with the only threeevents from his adulthood being "got married", "wife got pregnant" and "got cybernetics". We never learn how he managed to get his teaching certificate (did he graduate from college with a teacher's degree of some sort? Or did he major in something else and did a teaching course as well? What is his specialty? Etc.), or how exactly his relationship with the girl from his dreams went from "friendzone" to "pregnant wife", or where exactly he lived before moving to Yamaku. Bottom line, there's lots of missing info there, so I'll have you greatly expand the backstory before giving my approval.
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Kiyonori Kida on Mon Oct 07, 2013 1:26 am

OK, I'll work on this and make the adjustments to the areas you mentioned.
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Kiyonori Kida on Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:49 am

I've made some adjustments, If you feel it needs more just let me know and I'll expand on it some more and Thank You for the pointers.
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by LQ-84i on Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:55 am

There's an amount of holes in the history I've been able to spot. I know not that much about his early childhood, his relationship with his parents or even what the first signs of wanting to become a teacher were besides playing teacher often. This can be glossed over if there wasn't much to describe that would be important but this set the theme for the entire history. I know little of his friends other than their names. I know little about how he felt about the fact others felt he was weird. At this point, I've gleaned quite little about him besides he wanted to be a teacher and he coasted past school. Then comes the point that Raiden touched on, he met a girl who wasn't all that interested in him initially and he fancied her, yet I am left wondering how did he turn the situation around. More often than not, a person would be holding all the losing cards at that point so a very significant turnaround or event would have to make her end up falling in love with him. The only event I've found that was covered in some detail was his accident, which is understandable. Yet, I find it that I am uncertain how he was able to afford the limbs. Now, if it was the fact that it was through Miyoko, I'd like to know then how it was that she got them to agree with the procedure. Also, I, too spotted that you haven't mentioned where he hailed from since he wasn't from around the school.

To conclude, as was aforementioned the faults we can find seem to be in the lack of detail in the history and for certain parts that would pass here, however the entire history just couldn't be this way. Bump the thread when you make adjustments.


EDIT: This was in the process of being typed when you bumped the thread. If you've updated the thread and one of my points is rendered invalid, I'll be aware of that soon.
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Kiyonori Kida on Mon Oct 07, 2013 4:14 am

I took what both of you said into consideration and went more in depth with the back story. If I still missed anything or didn't cover something just let me know and I'll work on it some more.
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Subverse on Mon Oct 07, 2013 11:59 am

I know you only need two admin's approval - but I've noticed a pretty big hole. Somebody doesn't just shrug off a life-changing event like losing an arm -I know you mentioned the effect on his mental health with the nightmares but that's due to the accident - did it take him some time to adjust to life as a cyborg? How does he feel about cybernetics on the whole? Just a little curious here.
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Kiyonori Kida on Mon Oct 07, 2013 8:06 pm

Ok, I'll work on that. this is why I ask for pointers, I know I'm gonna miss something lol.
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Kiyonori Kida on Mon Oct 07, 2013 8:16 pm

I made the further adjustments recommended by subverse. Thanks for all the help you guys, and again if there's anything you feel needs more work let me know.
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Raiden on Mon Oct 07, 2013 11:59 pm

Hmm, the thing is, there aren't that many cybernetics experts who can build state of the art cybernetic limbs, and there certainly weren't many back when the accident happened. Hell, even Takeshi's cybernetics, while pretty damn good, couldn't exactly be called "State of the art". But just as I was typing this, I remembered that, in the post-reboot universe, Kenshi Kato (Takeshi's partner while he was running Tachibana Industries in the old universe) has made the company on his own and has pretty much become the Bill Gates of cybernetics. So my very last recommendation before giving you approval would be for you to either make Kiyonori's wife Kenshi's daughter (and maybe elaborate on the circumstances behind him pretty much marrying the daughter of Bill Gates), or to find a way to fit his father-in-law into the whole complicated cybernetics scheme somehow.
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Kiyonori Kida on Tue Oct 08, 2013 5:48 am

I think I've found a good way of fitting his father-in-law into the cybernetics deal. If that doesn't work then I can work on it some more, and figure something else out. I do realize now that "State of the Art" may have been a bit much and I replaced it with "Rather Impressive", I think that works a little better.
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Raiden on Tue Oct 08, 2013 10:27 am

That looks okay to me. Approved.
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Kiyonori Kida on Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:34 pm

Huzzah. one down one to go?
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Re: Kiyonori "Kiyon" Kida Character Profile

Post by Subverse on Fri Oct 11, 2013 12:22 am

I was waiting for SilentFox, but I guess I can do it too. Approved - good job.
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