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[OPEN] Re-creation

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Post by Sora Kimura Sat Sep 21, 2013 4:40 am

I don't know myself to be stubborn. I usually go with whatever's going on around me, and if something isn't meant to be done, I accept it. Yet, here I am.
There are several failed attempts at drawing a tree sitting on my desk at the moment. I don't usually like using references, because it feels more like I'm copying something already existent than creating something new and interesting. There is little creativity in a drawing if it has already been created. That's why I tried creating a tree of my own on my desk before reluctantly coming here to just copy one. Then again, a drawing of a reference could be considered another interpretation of reality, as most art is...
I forget what I was doing as I nod upwards and stare at the sky above the tree I was just trying to recreate on paper, pondering whether or not recreation of a reference is creativity like any other art is. I am sitting against another tree, with a clipboard on my lap and a piece of lined paper on it, holding a basic shape of the tree, details not yet added. I set the pencil that put said shape there on the grass beside me. In truth, I don't remember where I got the clipboard, but I've just dismissed it as a problem I don't have to worry about yet. As a detail I didn't know how cleverly fit anywhere else, I am actually off school grounds, though not far. Not sure if that belongs in the Courtyard section, but I couldn't find a better one...
"A drawing of something already there doesn't seem creative, but most art really is of a part of reality, just with metaphor or emphasis or something. If you make what is supposed to be said through the piece exactly the same as what is on the piece, it still does have a message, maybe it still is art..." I ramble to myself. "...maybe I don't know enough about art to be able to tell..."


Last edited by Sora Kimura on Tue Oct 01, 2013 11:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Izumi Inaba Sat Sep 21, 2013 5:19 am

[Generally just being outside, trees, and a small musing on perspectives. That's a recipe for this guy to jump on this thread, oh yes!]


The courtyard had became the de facto location if you wanted to search for Izumi, if you needed him or simply wanted him for a moment, you could predestine that he might be here. A stretch and a game of absolutes would bring one to a conclusion that he would definitely be here. First day back to school and old habits refused to die, as such he found himself back in the courtyard. The point this time was to peer at how the post-break school appeared from it's exterior. Not the building of course but the other aspects, the growth of the plants, all the different small creatures that come around at only this season. Insomuch that even the sounds of the ground at his feet to him have a different crunch to it. As he takes his usual route around the courtyard, Izumi spots a person propped up against a tree with a clipboard in hand appearing to scrutinize the tree over yonder to his north.

An artist of some sort? A prospective ecologist? Perhaps another person who sees the joys of the outdoors as much as he does. No matter the case, the small one man jury of Izumi's bias and interest sent him toward the location of this entrant. He moved quietly as to not disturb the work at hand and indeed wasn't noticed as he sat down on the right side of the tree. As swiftly as he gotten to his destination had the pencil in the hands of the unknown person dropped. Izumi noticed this yet also became fixed on the tree for a second, the one in question. It was much older than this one, the pure strength of it's integrity can be felt with clear vision, the bark looked weathered but remained a captivating shade of brown. The sort that would usually be stained upon cabinets was instead found in natural occurrences, this interested Izumi but what was more was how this person mattered to come across it. Izumi had never seen it and yet it stood, right there. This would have been the first statement had there not been an utterance from the person beside him.


"A drawing of something already there doesn't seem creative, but most art really is of a part of reality, just with metaphor or emphasis or something. If you make what is supposed to be said through the piece exactly the same as what is on the piece, it still does have a message, maybe it still is art, maybe I don't know enough about art to be able to tell..."


Izumi by mere habit decided to respond, never being asked nor ever being acquainted still focused away from his probable interlocutor and toward the tree. "That would be the case if every tree was the same, yet, I believe you are inconsiderate to the item in which you are framing. Every living thing has it's identity, one posed by it's very existence. Regardless of the will or the intelligence it has, it's genetically and intrinsically a separate entity. That tree, may be a different species from this one, a different age or creed. It however cannot tell a story, much like the inability of this one to. You may very well give it a message it cannot convey. One it cannot do itself as it cannot move and show others."
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Post by Sora Kimura Sat Sep 21, 2013 5:44 am

After closing my eyes to go over what he said in my head a few times, sorting out what the bigger words and more complex phrases mean, I piece together my interpretation. Upon opening my eyes, I say it without turning to face him, as if the origin of this addition to my own thoughts was unimportant, and the addition itself was the only noteworthy part. Thought doesn't have location, so I say it to the open air I'm already facing. "Then whether or not drawing off of a reference is creative depends on what the reference is. If the reference doesn't have a story to tell, you can make one for it. If it does have a story to tell, then it must take some sort of perceptive skill to find that message to put it on paper anyway. I guess they're both art, just different kinds." I pause for a bit before saying "But I didn't really come to make art, I just came to learn how to again. I just need to practice making shapes and stuff, so maybe I shouldn't have been so unwilling to use a reference in the first place." I realize shortly afterward that "It was me being stubborn again, and I'm not stubborn. Maybe I am and just didn't know it until now. Maybe I should get back to drawing the tree, or maybe it's stubborn of me to force myself to come back to that. Maybe it's stubborn of me to keep thinking about what is and isn't stubborn." I make a mildly troubled expression and fall silent as I confuse myself.
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Post by Izumi Inaba Sat Sep 21, 2013 6:21 am

Izumi pauses in order to understand what was meant by shapes. If he was out here, trying to figure shapes out, they might not necessarily be strictly geometric shapes. Rather the shape of the form. The "form" would be the framework, the initial sketch or mock-up. This was mere conjecture however Izumi knew better than to be dense and leave every word for it's granted connotation. Yet, the refusal to this point to question what was meant by shape left him assuming. Perhaps simply continuing the conversation to reach the proper time to drop the question would be for the best. Izumi peered over to the tree once more before starting his statement.

"Well, let's place it in the most basic of forms, if you wanted to get used to drawing shapes, would you then not need a shape to start with? Even if you have one prop up in mind, it was a point of reference you're working off nonetheless. If you tried without knowing what you were doing, you'd probably not get what you'd want and if you did, by mere chance did you achieve it. That wouldn't be learning any more than testing probabilities unwillingly."

Izumi kept a fixed gaze, attempting to find the basic outline of the tree, the silhouette of it's form. It wasn't to try to showcase his own skills on paper he didn't own like you'd find a person do to explain, but rather to gather the shape in his own mind to test the statement he just made.
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Post by Sora Kimura Sat Sep 21, 2013 6:34 am

As I trip over my own thoughts, the stranger does not wait for me.
"Well, let's place it in the most basic of forms, if you wanted to get used to drawing shapes, would you then not need a shape to start with? Even if you have one prop up in mind, it was a point of reference you're working off nonetheless. If you tried without knowing what you were doing, you'd probably not get what you'd want and if you did, by mere chance did you achieve it. That wouldn't be learning any more than testing probabilities unwillingly."
"I guess it's more specific than just working with shapes. I can think shapes well enough, but it feels weird using this hand to try making the thinking shapes into paper shapes. You seem to have a lot of thoughts, can you find one on how to make my left hand work like my right hand did?" I request, actually turning to face this stranger as he himself is now an important entity. It occurs to me that, since I can think of shapes sufficiently, finding a reference really wasn't a very helpful thing to do. I suppose I thought taking one process off the list of processes to go through might help, or maybe I just wanted a change of surroundings. Regardless, I wouldn't have found this thoughtful stranger had I stayed in my room. Even if not for the intended reason, finding a reference may have been a good decision after all. Hopefully he can confirm the theory here.
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Post by Izumi Inaba Sat Sep 21, 2013 7:24 am

Izumi turned to face the sound, not aware of what was meant but can infer the connotation. Whilst attempting to remain respectful, he had given in to his urge to see what was meant by the persons statement. The lack of an arm on his right side confirmed the worst case scenario to it's most grim scenario. Doubtless now that it has been noted a thought was asked of him. There was no real need to pay respect to it, tact seldom found its way in an answer to a difficult question. Practice takes time and perhaps that was what he wanted to avoid. Taking the time out. There was no apparent easy made answer, frankly the request whilst innocent at its core betrayed the true meaning.

Izumi gave a half-hearted smirk of unease. He was intelligent but not encompassing with his ability. Nor can every answer suffice the purpose of what the person wants to hear. The truth, as fruitless as it may be, is the current answer to give. Nothing profound to make out of a near-absolute.


"You're already doing what you'll need to do, you are working at it, willing to learn and taking the time out to practice. You may need to find another way to grip the pencil and find what suits you best. What I can advise you is to start small as much as you may dislike the idea. Instead of a tree, which may overwork your mind and your hand. Why not try to gather the form of a much more achievable matter..."

Izumi looks around for a second and spots the position of a bed of violets. They are nice and shapely, simple enough to mentally trace and a much smaller scale which would give his acquaintances less apt arm less to do.

"Whilst a lot less difficult, it's still not too simple. How about one or more of those violets over yonder?"
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Post by Sora Kimura Sat Sep 21, 2013 3:45 pm

I was pretty much already doing what he's just told me I should; just practicing. It felt kinda odd to practice with no more specific an objective than to just get better, and to draw with no more specific an objective than to practice. Usually, if I wanted to practice something, the drawing in mind would be pretty centered around it. I once wanted to practice lighting, so I made an abstract ball in the center of the picture that shed light on some abstract cubes, pyramids, and a sphere around it, all of which then cast shadows on an abstract plane beneath them. Here, thinking through what I want to do doesn't help much, and what I choose to draw doesn't help much. Just drawing to draw. Regardless,
"Whilst a lot less difficult, it's still not too simple. How about one or more of those violets over yonder?"
It sounds like a decent enough idea. A tree didn't seem too hard to me, at least working off of reference. However, a violet is a lot more simple, and it does have those smooth curves I seem to struggle with as of late. Deciding that violets probably are a better thing to try my hand at than a tree, and also that they are too small to get a good look at from here, I pick up my pencil and somebody's clipboard. I carry them the short distance required to get a good eye on the flowers. Unfortunately, there isn't a tree to lean against that's close enough for me to be able to easily see detail from its distance, so I just sit down on flat grass. Oh well. I set the clipboard on the ground and hold down one side of it with one foot while pushing down the paper-hold-y-part with the other. I set the pencil down again so that I may take the paper with my hand and flip it over, and then let go of both sides of the clipboard under my shoes. I can't really tell whether I'm happy that I managed to find that way of going about things, or if I'm unhappy that I had to do so at all. It's probably best not to dwell on the thought for too long lest I frustrate myself and quit trying to draw as I've done a couple times already. Deliberately finding something to occupy my mind, I pick out three violets fairly close to eachother and decide to draw those. Well, I might lightly draw the rest in the background, or impressions of them.
For now, I just draw some of the grass at the bottom of the flowers. I erase and re-draw the grass three times as the curves turn out not quite perfect enough, and eventually settle for a zig-zagged line. "Wasn't the important part anyway..." I mumble to myself. If I don't take a lazy shortcut on the violets themselves, I can live with this decision. I remind myself that this isn't supposed to be a beautiful and complete piece of art, anyway. That's why I came over to the violets instead of the tree earlier.
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Post by Izumi Inaba Sun Nov 03, 2013 6:12 am

Izumi glanced at the efforts of the artist watching toil undertaken to recover what was lost. The experiences shared silently through ever flowing absolution. Attempting to control an entire direction not ever taken into consideration for these works. Left.

Left was an irony. Left was a turning point. He had left his dorm to gather an image to forge paths back to former glories. He had left his previous attempt behind to find more obtainable measures. All he had left was his left. The question recieved was a difficult one for Izumi to respond to as he watched the result of his reply. The nature of it was reminiscent of a statement of hope. The boy was truly wanting to find his way again. When his left is as his right all may be correct again.

Izumi walked over toward the diligent boy and asked a question of his own still lingering on the one given him.

"I recall you said I had many thoughts. It may possibly be true. Yet I am left wondering, what do you do with your own?"
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Post by Sora Kimura Sun Nov 03, 2013 2:42 pm

That's a good question, my consideration of such displayed by my hand pausing where it is, in the middle of drawing one side of a stem, for the few seconds I take to think. I believe I've thought about how I treat my thoughts before, but it takes me a bit to recall the results.
"A lot of them stay where they are. I tell people some of the more interesting ones, and a few of those interesting ones end up on paper."
How do they get selected, though? What determines whether they end up as unused thoughts, speech, or drawings? Not as much the quality of the thoughts as the situation around me when they come to mind, I think. If I'm alone, they often don't end up anywhere. If I'm mid-conversation, I speak them, and if I have paper and pencil in hand or nearby, they might get drawn.
"Depends on when I think of them. Most of them haven't gone anywhere lately."
They haven't.
I continue to draw the left side of a stem curving slightly to the right, and find that it turned out kind of wobbly. I erase it and try drawing it faster, giving my hand less opportunity to stray off-course. It works; the stem has a smoother curve to it. It's a bit more curved than intended, but I'll live with it. I have to draw the other side of the stem more slowly, though, to make sure the whole thing stays the same width. Regardless of such care, and, honestly, as expected, the stem is thicker and thinner in some parts than I'd like. Rather than re-drawing the whole thing, I just erase the mistaken portions and re-draw them to fit better. There's beginning to be a fair few still-slightly-present-after-being-erased lines behind the prominent, non-erased ones, but I'm used to such the occurrence.
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Post by Sora Kimura Mon Nov 11, 2013 9:57 pm

(If you've no reply, I can go on.)
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Post by Izumi Inaba Sat Dec 07, 2013 5:27 am

The critical nature of his work falls in line with the damnable nature of perfectionism. In this case attributed and expanded upon through his condition. Izumi thought this much too cold a passing judgement but nonetheless an ever-constant thought. Does defiance cry out loud enough to submerge a life in its vices. Yet there was beauty in the struggle. Grasping at the hopes once lost through chance now evident. The drawing was better than anything Izumi could currently preform with his off-hand. That wasn't to say it was a marvel, no. What it was is a symbol of the present. This is what the sky could make whilst marred by clouds strangling the light. It peers through the edges much as the curves of the fault ridden stems. Izumi kept an eye on Sora as he did what he could do. He seemed amvibilant about his work. A sign of discomfort as the lines were replaced and devoured again. Izumi kept quiet but moved closer gingerly. Observing the work was paramount over any else this moment.
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Post by Sora Kimura Sat Dec 07, 2013 6:06 am

The stem is fine. Now, I could draw the stems of a couple other nearby violets, and do each in stages, or I could do each violet whole. I decide on the latter, and look to the subject of this drawing so that I may further identify the petals' shapes. It's a bit of a tricky one. Not excessively so, but I find that shapes that are round but not quite circular tend to not look quite right until after some revision. I will often end up with a flat part, a part curved more sharply than the rest of the shape, or often a combination of both at different parts of said shape.
I dismiss discouraging thoughts for now, as surely more will turn up soon and I don't want them building atop one another.
...Would thoughts stack on top of each-other? Thoughts aren't in real space; they don't really have locations...
A few seconds' time lets me realize that I'm supposed to be drawing something. Woops.
I lightly draw a slightly oblong circle in the center. It's not actually part of the drawing; it's just there to identify the center of the... What's the whole top part of a flower called?
I draw the bottom-left-ish round-but-not-quite-circular petal.
It's bad.
I erase and try again.
There's a bit of a sharply curved corner, so I erase said corner and re-draw it.
That one's done! Four more to go.
The next petal's farthest edge from the center is flatter than it should be. I erase and make it rounder. Good.
The third is bad.
The third petal re-draw is bad again.
I stop and look at the misshapen petal.
It's bad.
No, it's different.
No, it really is bad.
Get rid of it?
...Sort of.

I erase most of the petal, but rather than re-drawing it as first inteded, draw a small part of the petal close to the center, and make a squiggly, jagged edge, so it looks as if the petal has been ripped from the flower and only the very middle part stuck to where it should be.
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Post by Izumi Inaba Sun Dec 08, 2013 3:09 am

The process was mired in discomfort as Izumi begun to observe with a more meticulous eye. Thoughts weren't visible but their products were. As Sora erased yet again Izumi looked back toward what was being reproduced. It wasn't an equivalent replica but an interpretation of what was seen. He didn't come here to reproduce but to create.

Clouds crepted faster than time was perceived. This was favorable as it meant that Izumi was relatively as engaged as Sora was in their activities. All he was doing was watching how the artist worked, this gave him as much joy as moving. For otherwise complete idleness with no purpose brough upon nagging restlessness. Returning to full focus he saw that Sora was vexed with a petal and cast it out a few before figuratively allowing it to remain a castaway. Izumi wondered if that was frustration or improvisation.

"Regardless of where your thoughts take you, they are still evident. That petal gave you a fit and you dealt with it."
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Post by Sora Kimura Sun Dec 08, 2013 3:34 am

"Did I deal with it well?" I ask. It might mean something that I deviated from the reference that I was originally supposed to be putting on paper as it was, though I'm not sure quite what.

(Also suddenly a short post in this thread in which the minimum has thus far been a full paragraph)
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Post by Izumi Inaba Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:21 am

"That's left to vary. The matter was dealt with." Izumi said with no more impassivity as he knew what he meant. However, that didn't cross his mind as he only focused on the petal. Hanging ever loosely off as a vestage. Torn away from its benefactor as it rushed to meet the ground that wasn't there. Void in form but existent in sentiment.

"You were simply trying to regain shape, however you're manipulating it. I do believe it's a step beyond."
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Post by Sora Kimura Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:46 am

I suppose that means I did do well.
wait
"It's like I did more and I drew less." I realize. "That's kinda weird. I guess the flower missing a petal is kinda weird too."

(I'm not sure if I was clear earlier. The petal is not hanging on a torn edge; there is only the small part of the petal stuck to the middle left, and the remainder is simply not in the drawing.)
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Post by Izumi Inaba Sun Dec 08, 2013 8:08 am

(Izumi is partially blind. He is detaling what he can make out. He can see just enough to picture what's right in front but anything out of focus varies in distortion. Correcting me helps but I shouldn't adjust to it too much. I will admit I read it wrong.)

Izumi blinked as he looked upon it with attention. It wasn't actually there, which was fair enough. "Apologies, I hadn't realligned my line of sight to notice. That however is a valid description of practice. It's inefficient but that is our toil. Izumi gave off a smile warding off self and soul. He didn't want to recall his own fault this time. There was no call for it. Izumi was aggrieved for his recurrent awareness of it. It was his own cause and because of such didn't hold any will toward Sora then.
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Post by Sora Kimura Sun Dec 08, 2013 6:12 pm

The remaining petals and the center of the flower are done at about the same rate and with about the same amount of difficulty as the rest of the drawing, and I do not make any intentional deviations here as I had done with the torn petal. I meet another decision: I can shade the flower, or I can draw the outlines of a couple other nearby flowers.
...Maybe I could just leave out the other violets entirely. That doesn't seem quite right, though. I want the others to be there, but not to have as much of a focus as the center one...
Rather than drawing the two lines that would form a more accurate outline of a stem, I just draw one light line. I draw it again, as I had to erase it because it didn't curve quite right. The petals of this one, once drawn, are not entirely accurate; they have a more simple, round shape than is actually present, with less regard to perspective. Once I draw all of said petals, and they are done rather quickly due to their simplicity and my lack of concern for accuracy, I erase two not-very-good petals and re-draw those. This is all done lightly, so the lines that compose this violet are not so dark and eye-catching as those of the first one.
"Can something be less there than another thing? Or is everything either there or not there and all the things that are there are just as there as other things that are there?" I ask.
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Post by Izumi Inaba Wed Dec 11, 2013 3:10 am

Any other moment Izumi would be glad that this topic arrives but not this time. Whereas one would know about Nihilism and Determinism, in this case Sora arrived at these thoughts arbitrarily. Izumi wasn't enthused through reading the context of where the question came from. He responded with as much brevity as possible as to not send forth lingering vibes. A simple desire to watch an artist regardless of level was on his mind now.

"There are varying schools of thought that contradict one another, it's possible for there to be nothing at all, everything at once or partial amounts of somethings." That was all that was said as he looked on.
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Post by Sora Kimura Wed Dec 11, 2013 3:47 am

It takes me a bit to figure out what he said, but I decide that I think he told me that presence is a sliding scale and not a binary value by saying that there can be "partial amounts of somethings." Satisfied enough by this answer, I move on to drawing a third flower to the right of the primary one, whereas the previous had been to the left, in the same light, simplistic, there-but-not-as-there style.
After the first petal, I start thinking off-topic thoughts: He mentioned "contradicting schools of thought"; maybe whether or not partial presence is a thing is up to interpretation and which "school of thought" the wondering individual is using? Maybe partial presence is only a partially-present concept...
This is noticeable by a few-second-long pause, during which my eyes are half-closed as I look up from my drawing slightly, before I realize what I'm doing and get back to things.
The flower is finished with a similar amount of difficulty to the previous one; I re-drew the top half of the stem, drew the second and fifth petals twice, revised the first, fourth, and fifth petals after overall success, though the third petal was drawn with surprisingly satisfactory quality the first time around.
It was a bit difficult, but I got through.
Would it be so difficult if-
...
Would it be so difficult otherwise?
Would this have taken less time?
Infinite times less; I wouldn't be doing this at all.
Practicing.
I shouldn't have to practice.
Boring. Repetitive.
Frustrating.
Frustrating.
Am I just making it more frustrating with my own thoughts?
Yes- No, no, I shouldn't be having these thoughts because I shouldn't be in this situation and so it doesn't matter if I'm making it more frustrating because there shouldn't be anything to make frustrating and this shouldn't take so long and it shouldn't be repetitive and how am I to finish this flower if I'm caught up in other things now and I'm having difficulties I shouldn't have with a thing I shouldn't be doing to have difficulties with but frustration is coming from two different sources me and this-
...
situation.


I closed my eyes a bit ago as I lost myself in thought.
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Post by Izumi Inaba Wed Dec 11, 2013 7:15 am

A pensive guise was developing all too clear to see yet repressed through lack of vision. Izumi would know this action of shutting one's eyes to meet the gray in shame. This moment bid welcome to leave and Izumi thought as to acquiesce to his retirement. There came a point that was too evident which was not to prod the idle straggler more. This entire process must have took its toll on Sora. To make well sure that this was the correct course to follow, a parting statement so to not further cause disorientation.

"I should be bidding you a farewell now. Yet, before I do, I'd just would like to bid you peace as you've done much for yourself today." Izumi stands there for a few moments more just to see if he was still aware of him enough to respond.
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Post by Sora Kimura Wed Dec 11, 2013 1:10 pm

My eyes open a bit suddenly, as I had forgotten the existence of the world around me and the things it contained - Inaba, in this case - and his reminder that there is, in fact, more to this time than my own thoughts surprises me a bit. I did not invite him to break my thoughts. Is it still OK that he did so?
I had only been pitying myself. Unhappy thoughts that would result in nothing but giving up on this drawing.
I like this drawing. I like the violet with its missing petal. It looks nice. It is nice.

As are Inaba's parting words - bidding me peace. I say "Thank you", facing him properly rather than just looking at my drawing, because I am thankful. I look back to my drawing afterward.
He knows what to do for me better than I know what to do for me.
What do I make of that?
...That I can go to him for a bit of advice if ever I need it, I suppose.

Now, I can shade this flower and finally finish it, or I can decide that I need some peace and come back to it eventually.
...I'm not doing anything else; might as well finish it here.
I begin making light, redundant strokes along the right edge of the stem that will darken one-another and become shading.

(You made me look up a fair few words in this thread.
I think that's a good thing.)
Sora Kimura
Sora Kimura

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