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[OPEN] I Can't Find What I Don't Know to Look For

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[OPEN] I Can't Find What I Don't Know to Look For Empty [OPEN] I Can't Find What I Don't Know to Look For

Post by Sora Kimura Fri Jan 31, 2014 2:02 am

As I waited for life to give me friends and it did not comply, I realized that socializing probably doesn't work that way. I had realized it earlier than now, it's just that now I've decided to find something to fill my time and solitude. Reading seemed like a good thing to try, if I'm just going to put off drawing over and over anyway. If I wasn't looking through the aisles, in the back of the library, my momentarily pained expression as I acknowledged my own procrastination may have been visible to someone. You're not supposed to force art, but if I never force it I will never start. Sometimes I think that's justification, and other times, like now, I think it's an excuse and feel a bit ashamed for using it as one.
Back to searching for books. I'd like some medieval fantasy, but any sort of fiction is fine, really. Perhaps it's because my interest is so broad and not piqued by anything in particular that I've mentally noted so many books now as mildly-interesting-but-I'll-keep-looking.
There's another braille book here. I touch the the dots on it, though I'm not sure why. That there's information here that I can't understand bothers me. The title is in plain text, but that's hardly satisfactory. There is information here, within my reach, that I could not understand it if it was in my own hands. This sort of thing applies to any language that isn't Japanese or simple English, though.
I should move on. Keep looking. Maybe I'll find something interesting that I can read.
I walk on, but even as I think this, I know that chances are fairly slim that this next aisle will hold anything that I'm immediately sure I'll want to check out.


Last edited by Sora Kimura on Fri Jan 31, 2014 10:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
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[OPEN] I Can't Find What I Don't Know to Look For Empty Re: [OPEN] I Can't Find What I Don't Know to Look For

Post by Mizo Takameshi Fri Jan 31, 2014 5:38 am

Having returned the stack of books he'd recently finished reading, Mizo had been browsing the stacks for quite some time looking for the next set of books to call out to him. Rounding the corner into the next aisle over he noticed that Kimura was browsing for books too. As he browsed the rows Mizo said
"How's it going, find anything good?"
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Post by Sora Kimura Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:04 pm

Oh, Takameshi is here.
"I've probably found a few good things, but I'm never sure right away that I want to check something out, so I keep looking thinking that maybe I'll find something I'm more sure of soon."
He's probably a good person to run into right now, actually.
"And I keep getting distracted, so I'm not paying full attention to the books I walk by sometimes."
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Post by Mizo Takameshi Sat Feb 01, 2014 3:29 am

"Yeah, I know what you mean.As weird as it may sound I sometimes read as I browse for more books and miss ones that I may have liked. I know that reading and trying to find more books may seem a bit redundant. If you're looking for some good books you could try what I do, I read the first three paragraphs and if I'm not into it enough by that point to want to keep reading I look for something else." Mizo thought for a moment then added,
"Then again if you want I could always recommend some too, what genera of book were you looking for?"
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Post by Sora Kimura Sat Feb 01, 2014 3:51 am

"I like medieval fantasy most, but not by much more than any other kind of fiction."
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Post by Mizo Takameshi Sun Feb 02, 2014 9:28 am

Mizo thought for a little bit before saying
"Hmm, I think I may know of a few that you might like,they're over here."
as he motioned to a section of books just down the row from where they stood.
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Post by Sora Kimura Sun Feb 02, 2014 3:38 pm

Introduced me to the school, talked to me when I was pitying myself, and now helping me find books.
He helps me a lot.

I walk to where Takameshi indicated with my common half-closed-eyes-because-I'm-thinking-about-other-things.
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Post by Mizo Takameshi Mon Feb 03, 2014 4:15 am

As Mizo approached the section he pointed out some specific titles saying things like
"That one was good." and "This series isn't half bad, but this one flows better."
After pointing the different ones he added
"Huh, I guess I read more than I thought I do."
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Post by Sora Kimura Mon Feb 03, 2014 1:18 pm

I pick the first book of a trilogy that had a slightly more interesting title than the others. I'll take the other two if I enjoy this one, and maybe come back here to some of the other things he recommended.
After staring at the bookshelves in front of me for a bit, apparently lost in thought, I turn to Mizo/Takemeshi/I-don't-know-which-to-call-him-right-now with less common fully open eyes, as the response to this is certainly worth my full attention.

"Are we friends?"
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Post by Mizo Takameshi Tue Feb 04, 2014 3:09 am

The question caught Mizo rather off guard. He'd never been asked something like that before. He saw no reason why they couldn't, or even shouldn't be. After a moment he said
"Well...I don't see why we can't be. I'd like to be friends with you. Really though it's all up to weather or not you want to be."
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Post by Sora Kimura Tue Feb 04, 2014 3:26 am

I nod and say "I would like it.", smiling for a second or so, as his response is good to hear.
However, "Why do you say you'd like to be friends with me?" It's probably not that important. I can easily settle for his want to be friends without knowing any deeper reasoning for it, but there's no reason not to ask.
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Post by Mizo Takameshi Tue Feb 04, 2014 10:31 am

Mizo thought the question over for a moment before answering.
"I guess...I'd have to say it's because you're different from most people, but in a way that I feel like I can understand. It's like...I feel like some how I can identify with you in a not obvious way, but at the same time it makes perfect sense kind of way. If any of that makes sense that is." After a moment he added
"Plus anyone who likes to read can't be all that bad."
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Post by Sora Kimura Tue Feb 04, 2014 9:43 pm

"I haven't actually read in a while; I don't really know if I still enjoy it. I guess I'll find out. I probably do."
I have to think over his statement of being able to identify with me a few times, after which it sort of makes sense. Myself being different from most people is something I already know about. I act differently. I'm also missing half an arm, but I don't think that's what he meant.
In a way that he can understand, though. Does he mean that I'm different from others in a similar way to himself? Well, if he could be more clear about what he said, he probably would have. Maybe he doesn't understand it any better than I do.
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Post by Mizo Takameshi Wed Feb 05, 2014 11:26 pm

"I'm sure you will. I feel like it's one of those things that if you enjoy it, you'll never really stop enjoying it." Mizo said as he pulled a book off of the shelf and studied the cover.
"This one looks good." he said more to himself than to anyone in general.
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Post by Sora Kimura Thu Feb 06, 2014 3:56 am

I can't find anything to say in response to what Mizo's said, so I instead flip through a few random pages of the book I picked out, skimming a few paragraphs. Looks interesting enough.
Doesn't bring the conversation anywhere, though.
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Post by Mizo Takameshi Sun Feb 09, 2014 8:06 am

As Mizo stands up he grabs another book. As he wanders over a few steps while skimming the contents of the shelf he shares a thought that had been bouncing around in his head for some time.
"It's weird...how much life can throw at you, and all the things that change...yet...so much seems to stay the same."
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Post by Sora Kimura Sun Feb 09, 2014 2:23 pm

I suppose that's a valid thought, but I still have to wonder what he's talking about.
"Why do you say that?" I ask.
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Post by Mizo Takameshi Mon Feb 10, 2014 4:19 am

"Well...I guess I've just been thinking a lot lately. I sorta realized that as much as things have changed for me over these last 8 months,like what brought me here. Some things haven't changed at all, I still read massive amounts of books, I still build my models. It made me realize that through all of life's chaos, if you look there are still those solid,consistent, familiar things that are always there." he replied
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Post by Sora Kimura Tue Feb 11, 2014 1:14 pm

I lost an arm. What has that changed, and what's stuck around?
I'm attending a new school. It is still a school, though. I'm still going to school.
A fair few things are harder to do, but most things are still doable.
I lost my old friends, but we weren't very close anyway, and I made a new one just a couple minutes ago. Maybe before then, and I only found that we were friends now; it's hard to tell.
I think a lot about things in general, and thought it's to a greater extent than I used to, it's something I've always done. I guess that's the most important one: Even if I may have changed in a few ways, I'm still the person I've always been in others.
I open my eyes as I find that I've closed them to think again. Not sure when I developed that habit.
"I guess you're right. I am mostly still me."
Maybe I should check this book out now...
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Post by Mizo Takameshi Fri Feb 14, 2014 12:13 am

"Exatly, Well I'm gonna check these out and get going. I'll see you later." Mizo said as he started to make his way up to the desk to check out his books.
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Post by Sora Kimura Fri Feb 14, 2014 2:37 am

I feel like making a friend in so deliberate a manner as this means we should have actually done something together with our time, but nothing came to mind and now is so different.
"I'll just read here for a while; I'll check this out later.
Bye."
I find a beanbag to sit on and my book begins to tick the time away.
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