Yuuki Takahashi

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Yuuki Takahashi

Post by Yuuji Takahashi on Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:32 am


NAME: Yuuji Takahashi
AGE: 18
CLASS: Junior
APPEARANCE: 5’8, Has short, black hair. Wears glasses and a ring on his right middle finger. Other than his school uniform He wears loose, long sleeve shirts and Wearing shorts more often than pants even in the winter. A slightly tone upper body.
BACKSTORY: Born second of 5 children and having crutches nearly his entire life because at birth he was missing one foot. Through Elementary Yujji was teased for having crutches. Even though this hardly bothered him, his parents forced him to walk on both legs. Teachers would question why he came without crutches, he would not answer. Eventually making it through Elementary, half way through middle school he had to leave the school. Constant harassment from other kids and was beaten down twice. Yuuji was homeschooled for a time until his parents divorced because his unforgiving father impregnated another woman. His older brother not caring for the rest of the family moves at 15, leaving Yujji and his mother to take care of the younglings. Him and his Mother worked two jobs just to keep up with putting food on the table and adding studies for getting into Yamaku the local high school(to him at least).Within time and falling exams once he gets accepted. Now a Junior,and still helping his mother and younger siblings.
PERSONALITY: Yuuji is a very stubborn person at times especially around large group’s people. Yuuji is a carefree person (and a bit of a closet perv) aside from that a he is friendly, easy to get along with guy. He respects everyone even complete strangers no matter what gender, or how they look like.


Last edited by Yuuji Takahashi on Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:09 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Yuuki Takahashi

Post by LQ-84i on Sat Feb 02, 2013 8:16 am

I'll need just a bit of elaboration and some clarification on what casual clothes to him would be, you know, just try to think about what he would really wear out of school, it sounds vague right now.


My biggest qualm is how he got to Yamaku. Elementary and middle is compulsory in Japan, I am sure he had to have finished that somehow, someway, just edit that up, just make him finish that part of school as if he was homeschooled or something. Just try to make it sensible alright. Personality seems to be fine I suppose, I can't really say there's anything wrong with it, it's a little vague, but I think I understood how he is well enough to pass it.

Work on it just a tad bit more and I could approve it.
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Re: Yuuki Takahashi

Post by Raiden on Sat Feb 02, 2013 8:18 am

I feel like you need to expand your backstory a bit more. First of all - it's REALLY short, and you could've put a lot more detail into it. What was his childhood like? Did other kids treat him differently because he only had 1 foot? How did he adjust to walking with a crutch? What about his parents - what kind of people were they? Why were they divorced? Who took care of the kids? What were the kids like? What was their relationship with their big brother? Why did he choose exactly Yamaku and not any other place? Etc etc.
Second problem - plot holes. When both parents get divorced, their children are usually left with the mother. You never really explain why she couldn't take care of them and had to leave them to her 10 year old son. Whatever the case, why weren't they left with their father instead? If both parents were unable to take care of them, why weren't they given to an orphanage? It's nor normal to have a 10 year old child take care of his siblings. It's also not normal to skip school like that - in Japan, elementary and middle schools are mandatory. And even if they weren't, there's no way in hell he would be accepted into a high school without any prior education, unless of course he studied his ass off and took exams like crazy to prove he has the required knowledge. Of course, you never mention such a thing.
It really feels like you didn't think this backstory through at all. I'd advise that you rework it completely and update the first post. When it's done, just make a response and I'll take another look.
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Re: Yuuki Takahashi

Post by Yuuji Takahashi on Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:09 pm

It has been updated.
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Re: Yuuki Takahashi

Post by NorXTNP on Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:50 pm

I'll aprove!

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Re: Yuuki Takahashi

Post by LQ-84i on Sat Feb 02, 2013 11:14 pm

As of right now, yes I'll approve.
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