(Private) The Dropped Pencil

"Why are you saying such things all of a sudden?" she looked back at him. "I thought you didn't love me?"

"W-Well...I am just...just saying."

He chuckles nervously. Of course the feelings were there still but they were unclear to him as to what he should do.

"Why are you doing this, Taizai?" she asked, feeling kind of hurt. She didn't understand why her friend was playing with her emotions like that. Did he love her or didn't he? And really... Did it even matter? Nayumi felt confused and helpless. She wasn't sure what Taizai's game was, but she had this feeling that no matter what, she'd end up being badly hurt at the end.

"Because...I...I do...I lied when I said I didn't...I'm sorry."

He looks upset at himself for lying to her.

"T-then why would you say it?" she asked, feeling betrayed and even more confused than before. "Why would you play with my feelings like that?"

"Because I am young and stupid...that's why. I don't understand half of the things I do. But I do understand this. I'm sorry."

He sighs and looks even more upset then usual.

"Stop, just... Just stop!" she cries out and covers her face with her palms. "Stop doing this to me! No matter what, we can't be together! You know we can't!"

"But...I love you...I'm sorry...I'll go."

He stands up and starts walking away.

Nayumi dropped the sketchbook on the ground and hugged her knees. "Why do you always do this?" she whispered through her tears. "You always hurt me, and then you just run away..."

He stops and looks at her.

"I am scared...I am scared of ruining what we have. Every time."

He walks back over and sits next to her causing the beanbag to shift.

"I'm sorry I'm not the greatest when it comes to this."

The girl dried her eyes once more and looked at him. "And what do we have?" she asked, sincerely not knowing the answer. Was it friendship? Or was it something more? Nayumi didn't know at all. The feelings she shad were confusing and scary. She desperately wanted to make sense out of it all, but realized that she couldn't, at least not by herself.

"We have...a very, very confusing friendship...at least in my opinion. We both love each other...but we can't be together except as friends."

He places an arm around her shoulder and holds her close.

"I know..." the girl admitted. "So... What do we do now?"

"I say we continue being close friends. If we love each other like we say we do, why hide it? I mean...just because we can't have a relationship doesn't mean we should hide our feelings..."

He continues holding her close as he smiles.

"Eh? W-what do you mean?" Nayumi asked cautiously. She didn't quite get how they could still show their true feelings for each other and not be in a relationship.

"I mean...why hide something that important? I mean...we are closer because of it right? I just...who knows?"

He shrugs and rests his head softly against hers.