[OPEN] Assignment

Julius walked into his office, preparing for the first appointment of the day.

Can't believe I've already been here at Yamaku two months now.

Granted, not many students have come in to see me… I would say no news is good news, but I know that's usually not the case.

It's gotta be hard for them to deal with. Mark's pals that got hurt sure had a rough time of it.
Then again, these kids are pretty resilient. Quite a display of human spirit.

He riffled through a stack of papers on his desk, looking for his schedule.

Now who was it that wanted to see me today…

A knock at the door interrupted his search.

"Come on in," he said warmly.

Julius Schmidt wrote:"Come on in," he said warmly.

Upon hearing an acknowledgement Mizo entered the office and made sure to close the door again behind him.
"Thanks for seeing me today Doctor." He said as he took a seat and propped his crutches against the side of his chair.
"I was told it might be a good idea after some of what's happened to me in the last year, but you already knew that I guess"

"Of course, Mr.… Takameshi, is it?" he said, recognizing him from the picture in his file.

"Yes, I've read through your records. I agree, I think it would be healthy for you to come and talk with me every once in a while.

"I may not know everyone as well yet as Mr. Hemington did, but I'm here to help, and I'd certainly like to have the chance to get to know you.

"So, how have things been going for you lately?" he asked as he pulled out a notepad and pen.

"Well...not so great I guess. In the Hospital twice in one year,once for an epileptic seizure, and again for being hit by a car. Those two trips put me so far behind on my grades that I really have no option other than to repeat my Junior year if I want to get a fair grade. Then the car accident cause me the loss of vision in one of my eyes, now due to the major loss of a lot of my depth perception I can't work on one of my hobbies any more."

Mizo stopped for a second to breath in deep and then let out a long sigh, and then went on

"Then there's my parents, I know they care about me. It just feels like they really don't want me around. I mean they actually ask me to stay at school when ever a break comes up, it's not like I really wanted to go home anyway I don't really have a reason to. They're always busy with work though, so maybe they just don't want to worry about me if something were to happen to me? I dunno. Then..."

Mizo's expression became a bit more worried.

"...Then there's Wilson. I saw the flyers around and no one has heard from him, seen him, or even knows where he's at. I'm worried about him. I just feel helpless because I don't know what I can do to help with trying to find him."

He stopped for a second then added

"So yeah...there's that. There's more stuff that's bothering me, but one thing at a time. Sorry, I already kind of went overboard."

Julius scribbled a few notes in German as he listened.
"Not at all. It's good that you recognize what is troubling you; that's the first step to overcoming it.

"Care to tell me about this other stuff?"

"Oh, well...It's mostly normal type of stuff that keeps a person awake at night. "Will I ever find that someone?" or "What does the future hold for me?" stuff like that. There's how overwhelming it all feels too, like these things are happening and I have no control over it all, it feels like there's nothing in my life I have any control over. Then other times...other times I feel like no one wants me because I'm a broken person. You wouldn't want a cracked cup, or a book missing pages. That's how I feel, like a book with missing pages. I just don't know sometimes...most times. "
he replied.

"Hm."
There it is.

"Mizo, we all have things that are beyond our control. There's really no way of knowing what will happen in the future. But the worst thing you can do is to freeze up, to stop and wallow in self-pity. If you do that, you really do forfeit control over everything.
It's okay to feel bad when bad things happen. It's not okay to give up all the good things because of it.

"You have to take hold of life and control what you can. Create the future you want to see. Fill in those cracks, those empty pages. Deal with the things you can't control as they come.

"There's an old proverb in Europe:
'God grant me the courage to change the things I can,
the grace to accept the things I cannot,
and the wisdom to know the difference.'
I think we all have to find this out for ourselves at some point in our lives.

"And Mizo, you are not broken.
We all have damage in some way. Some of us worse than others. It's our flaws that make us human, that make us who we are. But believe me when I tell you, I have seen broken, and you are far from it."

He jotted down a few more notes.

"So, what do you think is making you feel like you have no control?"

"Well..." he started "...I guess all of it. All of the things I have no control over. Landing in the hospital twice in a year, finding out I'm epileptic, losing sight in one of my eyes,losing the ability to peruse one of my hobbies, having a mixture of pills to take every day or suffer having seizures. I couldn't stop any of that from happening, it's like it all just happens and I'm helpless to stop any of it."

"Well, that much is true. All those events were out of your control. So don't think that any of that was your fault, or that you ever have to apologize for it to anyone.

"What about the other hand? Tell me about some things you have taken control of recently. Doesn't have to be anything huge."

"Ummm...I don't know."

Mizo thought for a moment

"I guess there was boxing up all of my old modeling stuff as I can't use it any more. I was also thinking that maybe it was time to maybe change my hair style."

"Good, good. Sometimes it can help to make a clean break with a part of your past.

"What else? Surely those aren't the only deliberate choices you've made lately."

"uhhh...well there was a birthday party for an upperclassman that I attended recently. I'm not really one for parties, and I'd never met the guest of honor before, but for some reason it seemed like a good idea. I'm also considering a taking up a new hobby in place of the one I was forced to give up."

"And how did that go for you?"

"The party? Well enough I suppose. We all went out and had dinner. I pretty much stuck with socializing with the people that I knew rather well. "

"It sounds like you enjoyed it, no? That's good. Anything else?"

"hmmm...No I guess that's really it. Even though I'm sure there's other stuff I could do, I haven't really done anything to retake control of my life. It still feels like there's nothing I can do."

"Hm."

He scribbled down another line in his notes.

"You made the choice to come here today."

"Not entirely, I was more told that I needed to."

"Well, you chose to take that advice, didn't you? And you made the choice to show up.

"I'm glad you did.

"Mizo, I understand that this must be a difficult time for you. But you should recognize that you still have control over a lot more than you may think."

"But it just feels like it's all small meaningless stuff."

"In a way, that's all we have. One small decision at a time. Each one may seem insignificant at the time. But when taken together, they determine the path your life follows."

"I guess I never thought about it that way before." Mizo replied.
"Maybe I just need to start small then?"
After brief pause he said
"Maybe tomorrow I'll go and get that haircut, I sorta need one anyway."

"There you go," he said with a smile. "Taking control.

"So, anything else you want to talk about today?"

"Well...Yeah there is one thing. A friend of mine is missing. No one has seen him, no one knows where he's at, the police are involved now and I've run outta options and ideas. I just feel kind of helpless in this whole situation."

"Yes, I did hear about that…" he said sourly. "Mr. Wilson, was it?

"Perhaps you should see if you can do anything to help. It's possible that you and his other friends might think of something the authorities wouldn't. If nothing else, you can rest knowing that you took control and tried to do something about it."