{PRIVATE}A birthday celebration

Hitomi looks lost, more lost than usual around Yamaku.

"Where is his dorm? I can't remember...he didn't even tell me. What a jerk!"

She scoffs before thinking about how much he cares for her. Suddenly, she walks down a hallway in the boy's dormatory and notices Setsuna's name next to his door.

"Found it! And I didn't even have to ask. Good job Hitomi!"

She knocks on his door, as soon as she is finished she remembers she didn't get a gift.

"No, no, not good. Not go-"

She suddenly falls down to the floor, asleep.

*He opens the door and sees Hitomi lieing on the floor , he slowly and gently Takes her in both his arms and closes the door*

//Thinks to himself, she is kind off cold, i guess i am better off if i put a blanket over her,and wait for her recover//


*He proceeds to lay her onto his bed and put his blanket over her body. Than he prepares some tea. However,since he is not sure what exactly Hitomi drinks,he also got water and Coke for her. Just incase. *

She stirs slightly and ends up falling onto the floor. Upon impact she wakes up and notices she is in his room.

"Ow...I fell asleep again didn't I Setsuna? I'm sorry."

She sits up and looks around.

"What a nice room you have here."

Thank you. It is comfortable enough and fullfills my dreams.


What would you like to drink?


Oh and make yourself comfortable, i hope you like feathers.

She finally stands up.

"I'll take some water if you don't mind."

She walks over and gives him a big hug.

"Happy Birthday~!"

*he returns the hug, and than gets the waterbottle, and fills her in a glass.*

Here .

How are you today Hitomi?

"I am doing good...I'm kinda upset though..."

She frowns after taking a sip.

"I didn't get a gift for you. I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible friend."

Do not worry about a gift. You barely had a day, besides,i do not like to be gifted anyway. you comming here,that is a gift, a good one at that. *He smiles*

But why are you upset?

"I'm upset because I didn't get you a gift."

She falls onto his bed and sighs.

"I told you I would and I didn't."

*HE sits down next to her*

Do not worry about it, okay ? *He smiles warmly saying that*

She sits up and moves quickly as she pushes him over and gets on top of him.

"You SURE you don't want I gift?"

She looks at him seductively and kisses him softly.

I would rather know what you are trying to do.

*He chuckles, but the serious impression seems to never leave his face*

"I'm gonna give you a gift if you'd like..."

She starts making out with him passionately as she grinds her hips against his.

*He waits till there is an opening *

Please wait. I do not like this. No, it is not you. I really wish to explain this to you.

She nods and stops.

"Sorry...I just really wanted you to be happy and have a gift."

She gets off of him and sits at the edge of the bed again facing away from him.

*He comes closer again and puts his head on her shoulder*

You could make me the best gift by just listening to me. That would make me happy.

As i was refering to "somewhen later" 2 days ago, i didnt really knew i would refer to today.

*he sounds a little worried*

Perhaps,did i make you upset? I apologize, it will fall into place perhaps.

"It's absolutely fine. Of course I will listen to you Setsuna."

She hugs him with one arm and rests her head on his.

*He sits behind her and hugs her from behind*

Allright than. Thank you.


I was born philophistic, and the death of my parents in a car crash as i was 5 did not help that. Baisicly, i am not measuring beautifullness by how someone looks but by how someone really is. I was adopted in a yakuza family, the one who crashed into my parents did that for me. I couldn't be more lucky to be honest, because my parents gave me hell of a life compared to what i was recieving just a moment after wards. And no,it was not because i was adopted, it was because i wanted it, to have a hard life, i mean.

Baisicly i grew up kinda lonely, sometimes playing with the Shrine maiden,but that was about it. And baisicly, it made me kinda stump. I never experienced love or anything like that, i just reallised that i do not like people who look only beautiful, i actually hate them,and i reallised that they look ugly for me.
Baisicly, this pop star,what was her name. I don't know, she is a bitch, everyone says she is beautiful but i don't think so,and she just is not for me.

Now, i had sex, i had everything,but i never enjoyed it because of that. Because i do not need it. Not because i do not want it. Basically i was forced into it, and i never enjoyed it because i didnt like the person. I am a man, so i could say i have a desire, but i actually do not. It is for me something really important. Any sexual movement that is, kissing passionately and cuddling excluded.

Now that does not mean, i do not want to do it because you are not important to me. Quite the opposite actually.
The first thing i thought as i met you is that i prolly will forgett you fast, but what do i know. You are the opposite of everything i've ever known, and you where interresting. And as the conversation went on, i started liking you. Alot. That is why i care for you. You are important for me. Keep in mind, i d o not know what things, for example, love, actually is. But you are so important to me, that i do actually not have the desire to have anything with you, because i am afraid it takes us away from what we are. And even if, i just do not have a desire like this at the moment at all. I never had. I have the desire to be accepted, yup. Not as a Yakuza,not due respect, as a Human that is. That is prolly what i miss the most.

And this is why i stopped you , because i was afraid that something quite the opposite happens.

Now how is that connectet all in all, it is quite easily said completly messed up,because it makes no sense.

And to answer that question, fuck it if i would know it.

*he lets out a sigh of depression*

My live really made me blunt and not feeling anything...AT all. No desires, no love, no real emotions, nothing

*he startet smiling,but his eyes get watery*.

Not because they made me that way,but because i felt that this is the best thing to do.
I've startet being cold. This is why i said i can't be seduced, because i do not like it, because i am afraid it takes me away from what i really want. But than again, what do i really want?


:..I am sorry
*He sheds a single tear*

This must be pretty boring for you to listen to,right?

"Setsuna...I'm sorry you have to feel all of that..."

She squirms out of his armsand stands up.

"I think you should think for a bit how you feel for me. I'm sorry. I have to go...happy birthday."

She kisses him softly and looks slightly upset as she leaves his room.

*Setsuna was faster at the door than she was, but he didnt denie her to go outside,he just touched the door opener*

If you can tell me how it does feel to feel anything, i can tell you how i feel about you. I am sorry. i really am

*He opens the door*

(he whispers very silent) Now this is a birthday.

*He hands her a little card with his cellnumber on it*
I should've given it to you earlier.

She smiles and takes his number and puts it in her pocket.

"Thanks...and again, I am sorry. You want to know what it is like to feel something? It's amazing."

She gives him a quickhug and kiss on the cheek before waving goodbye and heading home.

*He slams the door closed*


I do rather feel bad right now,but i guess that is a side effect of despair.

*
He punches the ground, but somehow,this stress was too much for him, his muscular structure stopped workig nearly completly. and he couldnt help but live with it for now. At the moment,he doesnt feel like screaming anyway. slowly he approaches his painkillers with both his legs working rather bad...very bad..*